Another Oscars Red Carpet Review (2024)
– Oscars! (low rhythmic music) I didn’t watch ’em. And I’m not apologizing for it, I’m not apologizing for it. You watched my previous Oscars video last year. Somethin’ happened during my Oscars watch through, so kinda didn’t wanna watch it again ’cause I don’t know what’s gonna happen next. Two, it’s award season. It’s not the only award show awardin’ these same people the same exact award. And when the same exact person wins the same exact award at every single award show, it’s kind of very predictable and it just becomes boring. I knew it was gonna be
boring, and that’s why I didn’t watch it. I had no desire to watch it this year in any shape or form. These celebrities wore some choices, and Emma Stone is one of them. Golly gee. First of all, the color is great, the color is cute. Second of all, I have not been shy to say that I do not understand this dress cutout. This is a typical dress cutout we seem to see on the red carpet all the time now, with the miniskirt bein’ followed by a longer skirt. And it just looks weird to me, it
just looks so weird! (laughing) Like when the miniskirt’s all like excited, and happy, and puffy like that, to then like keep on looking down and then you just see like this plain,
anymore. But this dress is okay. And whoever was in charge of like making sure your dress was perfect for every single photo on the red carpet needs to be fired. I know y’all got assistance for that, or your stylist got assistance for that or some shit. They weren’t doin’ their job for this one, girl, because what’s happening on the bottom? Why it bunchin’ together like that? Why does it remind me of a stingray? So many questions, so many questions for this. Zendaya! Ah! (low rhythmic music returns) Haven’t you worn somethin’ like this before? You have
worn something like this before. You have worn something like this before, and it was green and black. I know you. I follow you around when you’re sleeping. I like it though, girl. It’s a cut, it’s a fit. You rock almost everything you wear. We know who’s styling you, and he ain’t afraid to admit it, bitch. Go ahead, Law. It’s a serve, this is nice, you know what I mean? Like this is definitely a Zendaya dress to be at an event where she’s just there, you know what I mean? She’s not being nominated, she’s just there.
She’s hangin’ out, you know? Margo Robbie. The Barbie has left, the Barbie has left the building, girl. She said, “I ain’t nominated, why should I even try?” The pink girl era is gone. She said, “Remove it from my IMDB.” (laughing) I reacted to the SAGS on like my TikTok and Instagram, and in that one, she wore a dress where like the pink looks like it’s literally like leaving her body. And part of me was makin’ a joke saying, “I think that symbolism, sayin’ like the Barbie era is over and now she’s like moving on.” And
then with the reveal of this awards show, the last one of the entire season, I feel like I was fuckin’ right. (laughing) Okay girl, you know, it’s a black dress, you can’t go wrong with that that much. But we have seen people go completely terrible with it. But this one isn’t, so congrats. She still and forever will always look like a statue, and that’s a compliment. That wasn’t me just calling you stone. That’s what I’ll be calling myself right now. Joking, I’m joking, I’m joking! Or am I? America Ferrera. Okay, there’s the pink. We found
it. Someone picked it up, Margo, and it looks good. It looks good on you, America. It’s givin’ Barbie got hips, it’s givin’ Barbie got a BBL, you know what I mean? We know you got them curves and you ain’t afraid to show it, America. Danielle Brooks. Okay, very simple dresses at the Oscars. I think that’s always been a thing of the Oscars, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone dress crazy at the Oscars. But if I was invited to the Oscars, girl, I’d probably dress crazy. (laughing) Part of me feels like if I was ever
invited for the Oscars, for some reason I would never be invited again, so I’m gonna just go dress as crazy as I can be. Give me a stylist, dress me in something so avant garde that people will not stop talkin’ about me for years. I’ll be the new Bjork of the Oscars, okay? That’s my goal. Girl, come in a bedazzled chicken outfit, I don’t know. But this one’s decent, you know, we’ve seen it before. That’s what it feels like, it feels like we’ve seen it many times before on many of different people, and now it’s
her turn. So, congrats. Ariana Grande. Okay, here we go. You see, here we are. She’s sayin, “I got a new album, y’all know that?” She’s sayin’, “I’ma see y’all here next year for ‘Wicked,'” probably. The big musical released around Christmas time every year always gets some type of recognition in the award circuit. Y’all know how this game works, you’re gonna get nominated for a Golden Globe most likely. And this looks cute, okay? It looks like a mummy brought a comforter, and that is great. I accept it. Barbie’s mummy sleepover, you know? But how heavy is
that poofy thing? ‘Cause it looks like a full-ass down comforter. And if you’re dragging a full-ass down comforter down the red carpet, girl, those arms, those arms are fisting some twinks, I know that for a fact. Florence Pugh! I just like saying her name like that, I’m sorry. Florence Pugh. Um, sure girly, sure. Go ahead, you know, go ahead. I’m guessing y’all all here for “Dune” or somethin’, you know, y’all gotta promote the movie that just came out. It’s casual, you know, she’s like, “I ain’t nominated for somethin’.” Is she, was she? Oh, she was
in “Oppenheimer!” I didn’t see that movie. I don’t care to watch films about war, okay? I’m gonna say that right now, I don’t care to watch films about makin’ bombs. Do they show what happens at the end of that timeline, do they show it in detail? Because I’ve seen it in detail. (laughing) I also like how it’s like just your crotch is bedazzled. Ooh, Carrey Mulligan! That’s a period! It’s giving feather duster. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It’s giving makeup brush or, or, or, that brush barber’s have to like we move the hair
from like your body and face after cutting your hair. Y’all know what the brush I’m talking about, y’all know the fuckin’ brush I’m talkin’ about, girl, and that’s what it’s giving. And it’s honestly a serve, I love it. It’s very Hollywood scarlet. Starlet, scarlet, “Scarlet Letter.” What? Lily Gladstone. Ooh! Okay. You know, it’s simple. The Oscars are very simple, I’m learning. They’re simple and elegant. And this is simple. Elegance is pending, okay? Elegance is pending, girly, I’m gonna tell you that. I’ve never been a fan of a square cape on a dress. You already know
that, you already reviewed that many times. Okay! Issa Rae! Okay! Okay, Issa Rae! Okay, okay, Issa Rae! Okay! Ah! Okay. Whoa! At first, I thought it was black. When you first look at it, you’re like, “That’s a black dress.” But then when you get closer, when you look at where the light is hitting, you didn’t realize, no girl, that’s green velvet. Okay! Okay, dark green. I like it even more! Okay, I dunno how! Green is a hard color to pull off, but she’s doin’ it. Jamie Lee Curtis. Um… Cute, okay, we love black box theater.
Chillian Murphy. Chillian, Cillian, Chillian, Cillian, Chillian, Cillian. I don’t know, I didn’t watch this movie. Divine Joy Randolph. Okay, cheerleader. Okay, pompom. I see you, and I don’t like it. I don’t like it, I am so sorry. It’s giving winter formal dress, you know what I mean? Like it’s giving high school girly in the 80s who wanted to pick out something quirky, you know what I mean? I don’t like it, I don’t like it! And then on top of that, you can definitely see the corset underneath the whole dress. I don’t know if that was
on purpose or if that’s just like a mistake, but it looks like it was a mistake for some reason. I don’t like it! (laughing) Laverne Cox. Fierce. Here she go again, remindin’ us all once again, she is that girl. She has never not reminded us that she is that girl, and she will always remind us that she is that girl. Wherever you go, wherever you sit, and where you lie your head down to sleep, she will be there to tell you that she is that girl. And for all you haters out there, Daily Mail, putting
her on the worst dressed list for the SAG Awards, you need to recognize your mistakes. Bitch. Ryan Gosling. I just have to put you up there for the algorithm, girl, okay? You’re just wearing a suit, I don’t give a shit. Colman Domingo. Okay, word. It’s just a suit, but it’s cute, you know? It reminds me something my grandpa would wear. You remind me of my grandpa. I don’t know if that’s compliment. Michelle Yeoh! Okay, okay, silver ombre. I am not feeling it that much. I don’t know why, I think it’s too shiny. And then it’s
bundling together in the back like that and it’s making me confused. I’m very confused what’s going on. Maybe it’s just the pose. If she was in a different pose, maybe I’d be feeling it, maybe I’d be vibing with it. But we’re looking at pictures from The Cut. I also like how her watch is just like front and center. I feel like that’s a sponsor, that’s usually how it works sometimes. You might see that on a billboard one day if you’re in Los Angeles ’cause there are many paparazzi photos of celebrities like holding up something, being
like, that are billboards in Los Angeles. ‘Cause come to find out, they were paid by this company to walk outside and get their photos taken with said product/object, usually watches, so they can blast them on billboards in Los Angeles. Just a random quick fact about the weird world of celebrities in this city, if you guys didn’t know that. (laughing) Jennifer Lawrence. Okay. It’s giving Zooey Deschanel, you know what I mean? It’s givin’ quirky girl on a Saturday night. Not even a Saturday girl, this is a quirky girl on a Wednesday, let’s be honest. On a
Wednesday in the middle of school. She can play the ukulele. She’s very fond of Pinterest, okay? She might have some ADD, but won’t find out until mid-junior year, but that’s okay! Am I describing my best friend in high school? Yes, I am. Lupita Nyong’o. Is this denim, is this denim? ‘Cause if this is denim girl, work, okay? 2000’s, bringin’ it back. I don’t think this is denim, I think this is just fabric styled with rhinestones in the shape to make it look like it’s denim jeans. ‘Cause this looks like denim folds, girl, if I’ve ever
seen ’em. Girl, okay. I don’t really like it that much, these feathers are weird. Greta Lee. Okay, yum. Okay, delicious. Okay, I think it’s just good at this angle. I feel like if you were to turn at any other random angle, I’d be staring at it like, “Girl, what the fuck is going on?” ‘Cause why does it look like whatever is draped around your neck is going down your back and then swooping back up into your hips? Is that fashion? Bradley Cooper. No, thank you. Riz Ahmed. A little bit, a little bit, a little bit.
I’ll take it. It’s giving like District 12 from “The Hunger Games.” (Mac laughing) Kate McKinnon. Okay, New York and Company, I see where you got your shit. Emily Blunt. Ooh. Girl, your straps are floating, is your dress really that stiff? I am sorry. (laughing) She looks like her hips are stuck in one place and she’s trying her best to pose like they’re not, but she cannot move more than her arm. That’s what this looks like right now in this photo. Also the square train, what’s going on? What’s going on here? But cute, you know? I
too also outline my crotch in silver. Charlize Theron. (no audio) Someone put your dress on wrong, it got tangled a little bit. You better fire them. Anya Taylor-Joy. Okay. Okay, mermaid. What? Okay. Super large scales. Okay, I see you! It’s givin’ Flounder, we love it! Billie Eilish. Here we are, here it is. Honestly, honestly, honestly, she’s givin’ like the most badass principal of a boarding school you’ve ever met, you know what I mean? Giving like, “Oh, this teacher’s strict, but she’s kind,” you know what I mean? It’s giving, “Oh, these kids gon’ do their homework
today,” you know? Ava DuVernay. Girl… Why, why are you like a purse, what’s happening here? What are with these straps? The only time I’ve ever seen people wear straps like this on their body is when it’s accompanied by a full-ass harness. Girl, it’s giving me Folsom, kink.com. Okay, period. Greta Gerwig. Fine. Ramy Youssef. Sure. Becky G. What you doin’ here, girl? ♪ Dancing in the shower ♪ ♪ Singing in the mirror ♪ What do you sing? It’s cute, it’s cute. It’s nice, it’s kinda fiery. I’m into it. Are you here to announce a “Power Rangers
Two” movie? Because I know apparently it didn’t do well worldwide in theaters. But girl, I was in love with it, I saw it like three times. Dwayne Johnson. (sighing) Could… I’m not gonna say it out loud, I’m not gonna say it out loud, I’m not gonna say it out loud. He has a YouTube channel nowadays, you know, he might see this. But Dwayne Johnson, if you ever had an itching… You can put me in stitches, okay? Figure out what that means in any way you want. Vanessa Hudgens. Gimme a second, gimme a second. Give me
a moment. I just have to do somethin’ for a quick little second. Do somethin’ very… Okay, yeah. The answer is indeed yes, 100%. Vanessa Hudgens is pregnant, okay? Okay. But I didn’t wanna just ask that question out loud and come off so rude. (laughing) Being on this red carpet was her revealing her pregnancy. Vanessa Hudgens is pregnant. She’s pregnant, okay. Cute. (laughing) Fran Drescher. What? Joseph Quinn. I have nothin’ to say about his outfit, I just wanted to put him up here because he really gives you those bad boy Eastern European eyes that just like
get me goin’ sometimes. I’m only gonna do a few more, and then we’ll get off, okay? Cynthia Erivo. Okay, girly! She said, “I’m ready. I got a new movie coming out at the end of this year, girlies. Y’all gonna see me again. Y’all better get ready to see me lookin’ green, girly.” Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Okay, I like it. It’s giving like stingray for some reason, I don’t know why. Plankton, from “SpongeBob,” you know what I mean? One of the cousins he had, you remember the episode where his cousins came? Hundreds of ’em
because they’re plankton. She fit right in, she right there with them at the cookout and such. Y’all know. Cute. Hailee Seinfeld. Okay girly, I like it. I like it a lot actually, goddamn. It’s givin’ more than I expected. The more I look at it, the more I’m like, “Okay!” It’s givin’ like goddess of the sea, FKA Twigs. I don’t know, for some reason I think of that one I’m lookin’ at it. It’s really givin’ like British alt girly at the Grammys. And I know you’re American though, so I don’t know why just said that. Mai…
I cannot say her name. I cannot say her name ’cause I’m going to butcher it, but I’m gonna try. Maitreyi Ramakrishnan. Girl, work. Melissa McCarthy. (sighing) Girl. Somebody hates you, okay? That’s all I’m gonna say right now. Somebody’s out there to get you. (laughing) And it is not your hairstylist, it is not your hairstylist for a fact. That hair is bomb. But just keep on goin’ down, girl, you’re gonna find your number one opp. It’s giving, I don’t even know what it’s giving. Like are we Russian Renaissance Barbie, like what’s going on? And now we
gotta add another two internet girlies. I know, we’re there. Liza Koshy. Ooh, okay, dress. It’s giving Rosalia! I love it. Okay, roses on the side. That’s a vibe, that’s campy. Cute, good for you girl. And then, Eugene Li Yang! Okay, girl! See, this is where they been. They said, “Try Guy, try who bitch? Try me. I’m at the Oscars, in an Oscar-nominated animated film.” Name another, name another one of ’em. One of ’em released a tea line, okay? (laughing) With the big skirt. I love this, I love this. But how do you walk in it?
I feel like I’d be trippin’ on myself every single two seconds. The red, the sheen, the pose, the serve, the cunt. We see it all, it’s there, and it’s the moment. And it’s gonna be the last one we’re gonna react to on this video because I don’t wanna see anything else after this point. – Lit. – Yummy! Okay, worst/best for me. The best had to be… I’m gonna give you three. Carrey Mulligan, Hailee Steinfeld, and Eugene. There we go. Boom, top three. Worst? Someone is out to get you, someone is out get you, and we
are going to find out why together, okay? Thank you guys so much for watching. Shout-out to cows for just letting us pull on their nipples without consent, that’s kinda crazy. I will see you guys next time. And this time, it will not be for two weeks, it’ll be for probably a little bit over one, okay? Shut up. Whaa!
