COOL CAT FIGHTS CORONAVIRUS Is Dangerous! [Review] | Homeless Movies
i can’t believe it i caught a corona
virus now go
coronavirus ball go and a tad
cool cat well that’s two dollars i’m not
getting back
hello everyone my name is john and
welcome back to homeless movies where i
like to give secondhand films a second
chance to be appreciated it’s
finally here almost one year to the day
after the entire world went to
because of coronavirus daddy derek has
released his new film
cool cat fights coronavirus
[Music]
for those of you who don’t know cool cat
fights coronavirus is a well-intentioned
20-minute psa that derrick funded on
kickstarter aimed at teaching children
how to protect themselves from getting
infected
and i am 100 ashamed of the fact that i
donated two dollars to this piece of
it’s also the first real expansion of
the cool cat cinematic universe or 3cu
for short
with the debut of cool cat’s arch
nemesis dirty dog
who for lack of a better term is a
psychopath and quite possibly a captain
planet villain
i’m dirty dog and i’m going to pollute
all the kids with coronavirus you know
derek bullies were one thing
i’m gonna have to draw the line at child
murdering mastiff mascots
we get a chance to see daddy derek
typing i’m assuming the script of the
video we’re watching while we’re
watching it
you know how he does and i’m gonna give
credit where credit’s due it looks like
derek’s production values have gone way
up everything looks very clear and
readable but then cool cat shows up in
oh boy hey daddy parrot
what are you doing yeah you heard right
daddy derek is back as the voice of cool
cat once again
asking himself for permission to go
outside
and if that wasn’t enough of an
indication that derek has finally lost
his mind
it looks like he’s really taking this
whole scotch taping flowers to the wall
thing
way too seriously i think i’m actually
starting to worry about the guy
i do not want to make fun of the
physical appearance of the guy who has
replaced jason johnson as the guy
inside the cool cat suit but it does
look like cool cats gained a little bit
of a beer belly
i think it’s safe to say that the last
few years have not been kind to cool cat
especially after he got kicked out of
college for trying to escort way too
many people back to their dorms who did
not ask him to
don’t worry buddy everybody’s packed on
a couple pounds and moved back home at
least once in their life
cut to a shot of who i’m assuming are
some of the higher donating folks from
the kickstarter campaign including a
random furry for a breaking news report
so
shocking it literally jumps off the
screen
[Music]
our state has had a massive increase in
coronavirus cases
just layered it in front of the
television just stuck it on there
my best friend even caught coronavirus
there has to be an answer
this is scary i don’t want to catch
chronologists and get
sick me neither but what did we do
so these two little girls who just so
happen to be in derek’s house which you
can tell that it is because he
accidentally left
all the same crap on the counter are
terrified of getting sick because of
what they saw on the news
and to be fair they’re pretty good
actors for their age despite the fact
that they
never stop screaming but what did we
do i know we should go and find cool cat
and see what he thinks
yeah quickly loves kids and he’ll help
us
us finally some good news let’s go
yeah holy crap it looks like they were
yelling so much that the camera had a
seizure with all these colors going
wrong
speaking from experience white balance
is a so i don’t feel like holding
that against you derek
look there’s cool cats
hi angela and brittany so the girls
names are angela and brittany
i do not know which is which and i don’t
think the movie does either so angela
and brittany meet their not roommate
cool cat outside
and actually get some really really
valuable advice on how to deal with
kovid one of the main things is to wash
your hands
several times every day the cdc
center for disease control says you need
to wash them for
20 seconds wow that’s
a long time how do we know when to stop
uh
he already said you count to 20. how old
are these girls between the ages of what
7 and 11 i haven’t seen anything that
would indicate they have any kind of
learning disabilities so i’m pretty sure
they know how to count to 20 by now
derek just how young of an audience were
you aiming this video
at just sing happy birthday twice while
you wash them
and that makes it easy to remember i can
do that
i’ll pretend i’m washing my hands as i
sing it um
is anyone gonna tell her that’s the
opposite of what you’re supposed to do
is anyone gonna bother correcting that
so the girls leave to go
sing happy birthday while washing their
hands and it’s honestly kind of adorable
once the bleeding in your ear stops
happy birthday to me
and then i guess they just go back
outside to meet cool cat that’s
perfect and the social distance a few
feet apart
but what about masks this is how they
wear them on tv
is that how you wear them no the mask
needs to fully
cover your mouth and knows the word
correctly i gotta admit
i’m kind of impressed cool cat actually
gave some solid advice
so how’s derek gonna ruin it by showing
us dirty dogs stalking through the
bushes like daddy derek on date night
when he sees cool cat
angela and britney so that’s where that
ugly cat and this red hair friends are
and they’re playing with those stupid
sheep face masks
they’re so dumb look
derek i’m gonna level with you you
really need to stop
saying that all these little hispanic
girls have rat hair listen to us someone
just texted me
you’re ugly and your hair looks like rat
hair ugly
cat in this red hair friends it’s
starting to come off problematic
don’t let that be to you what the n-word
is to quentin tarantino you know what’s
on my mind right now
it ain’t the coffee in my kitchen it’s
the dead
in my garage now that i think about it
don’t do anything tarantino does for
that matter
now i’m glad i brought this water
balloon
cats hate water so i’m gonna get him wet
gross and i’ll cough on that fur so
burst virus
i’m so mean dirty dog is a bully
an anti-mass conspiracy theorist and
quite possibly a potential murderer
is he supposed to be like bush’s bully’s
dad or oh
oh oh oh go with me on this what if
dirty dog is butch after he mentally
cracked from spending the last several
years in prison on that gun possession
charge oh that would make a whole bunch
of sense
hey cool cat you and your friends
stink so here’s something to claim you
are
great throw dirty dog where’d you spend
your baseball training money
at you throw like a girl
daddy’s dog first like a girl
all right dude personal story time when
i was 13 my grandmother sent me to fat
camp for a summer which probably would
have worked wonders if she didn’t pick
me up and take me to taco bell every day
afterwards
anyway while i was there i actually got
forced into playing dodgeball against my
coach who just so happened to be the
local college’s star
softball pitcher i still can’t breathe
right
this doesn’t work anymore having these
two little girls be little and bully
dirty dog with you throw like a girl
is just another example of how the
hypocrisy and tone deafness of this out
of touch old man is staggering at times
or maybe at this point i need to stop
asking for context and consistency in a
derrick savage movie
what can i say i’m an optimist that
dirty dog is
always bullying kids bullies don’t have
friends
and friends are cool then stop
bullying people you big orange phony we
had enough of that over the last four
years
and i feel like rapping a song oh god oh
god no
no no no no no no no no no no no no
[Music]
[Applause]
there’s a cool cat rhyme that’s easy to
share
it’s about being healthy and showing you
care
smart kids know it’s cool to wash your
hands
wash there for 20 seconds is all rappers
should do
is he punishing us he’s got to be doing
this badly on purpose
now right
all cool kids really love me
i keep them safe from the bullies out
there
cool cat saves the kids it’s an awesome
movie it’s full of action and it’s the
coolest kids film
um actually i think you mean cool cat
kin
superhero only adam from your movie
sucks is allowed to make fun of cool cat
saves the kids
okay
i can’t feel my bottom lip after doing
that so this song goes on for like
three minutes and i can’t even imagine
how many takes it took because these
girls look exhausted halfway through
and for some reason the palette cleanser
that derek has chosen as a way for us to
recover from that abuse
is to watch dirty dog intentionally give
a random child coronavirus
there’s a puck here i’m going to fetch
you a chrono virus
you ugly kid
[Music]
i’m such a mean bully
oh my god no you’re not you’re worse
alright i feel like i need to explain
why this makes me so
angry you all know that i try very very
hard to give these movies a fair shake
and the benefit of the doubt to see if
there still can be some fun
found in it but in the promotions to
this video
derek constantly spouted the reason that
dirty dog acts like this
he thinks humans are sheep and and
coronavirus is a scam
so this way kids will be able to get
both
sides of the issue you know you know
whichever side you believe in
okay but so far all dirty dog has done
is
revel in endangering the lives of other
people
butch would steal candy put other people
down commit light vandalism and yes
he brought a gun to school but we never
saw him do anything but
hold it much less use it on someone and
he was
punished for that at the end of the film
dirty dog knows that kovit is bad
he knows that it can get people really
sick and that means that he knows that
people are
dying from this that doesn’t make him a
bully it makes him a
good golly that was fun picking on that
kid
but coronavirus is just a big scam
and it makes me want to rap so here’s my
beat and apparently he raps now too
great
and i’m the baddest there is my
coronavirus rhymes
are the best there is all the smart dogs
know
corona virus is a scam but some people
are
and let the median politicians lie
to
them again who the hell is this video
even
for derek has stated multiple times that
he wanted to keep the video
under 20 minutes and make it free so
that he could show it to schools and i
know it comes across
that he seems like he’s playing this up
for laps but a lot of people actually
believe what he says is true
if those kids hear this at school it is
entirely possible it may reinforce a lot
of
really really bad ideas dirty dog
eventually finds cool cat and then
catches a coronavirus particle out of
the air
and tries to make it grow with his
magic sauce
i caught a corona virus and now i need
to add my magic sauce
which i think is actually a bottle of a1
steak sauce or budweiser
or at this point it could be both for
all i know i can’t believe it
it actually worked thank you witch dog
for the
evil magical powers what
this world has evil cabals of like
magical death dogs and the like witches
and they have fell like what the is
actually happening here derek
seriously are you okay dirty dog orders
his giant
corona ball of death to pull a phantasm
and go kill cool cat and the girls but
cool cat
just he just just watch
don’t worry i’ll save us
attack attack and get em
[Music]
and i’ll save the kids
wow did you see the cool camera corona
virus
cool guy is a hero thanks my friends
and remember that people have different
opinions on this coronavirus
so always respect them no you
don’t
over half a million people in america
alone have died over the last year in
large part because people decided their
uninformed opinions and the illusion of
losing their personal freedoms was
somehow more important to them than the
lives of those around them
this video isn’t cute anymore this is
dangerous
and to prove my point even further the
video ends on a cliffhanger
i can’t believe cool cat beat me again
i got something for cool cat and his
ugly friends
i’ll get them at their school and i’ll
get them good
because it turns out that this whole
thing is just a prequel to derek’s next
movie
cool cat stops a school shooting which
is somehow still a thing that’s
happening
dirty dog threatens to murder us the
viewers and i’m gonna get you
too and this max headroom wannabe sends
out another breaking news report
sounding like the little kid from the
gamura movies
it’s been reported that cool cat fought
the coronavirus and
won cool cat is a hero to all children
camera loves all children and then we
move on to the credits
well wait that can’t be right derek
didn’t try to sell us any merchandise
hello my friends i’m cool cat and i hope
you
love my new film ah there we go i knew
you wouldn’t let us down derek in
you know letting us down derek savage’s
new video thinks that it’s really clever
trying to hide all of its faults behind
good intentions but that doesn’t make it
any less irresponsible
potentially dangerous and fake because
at the end of the day derek savage
doesn’t care about you
or your kids just your wallet if you
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thank you all so much for watching i
love you please stay safe i will see you
next time and just remember
be cool to each other magic sauce
