Cuties : Netflix Official Review Reaction – Topical Depression Presented by How to Die Alone Podcast

cancel netflix
cancel netflix all it takes is one
person to take action there’s so many
others
to feel the impact a thousand voices
screaming out at once
uncle daryl’s next flicks ain’t working
no more
when i heard that there was a foreign
film where young people were put in
compromising positions
just for the sake of social commentary i
couldn’t watch it quickly enough
and i got to be honest i really enjoyed
guns of kimbo even if he gave me
unsavory urges but seriously
when netflix started advertising cuties
people on the internet were outraged
that there was a film sexualizing
children
uh actually their preteens they said it
encouraged
philia actually it’s hemophilia
and the people most disgusted by seeing
children be sexualized
wow look i’m just gonna go
i thought this was just a ron paul fan
meetup
i’m not gonna watch cuties i don’t think
i could stomach a french film
where pre-pubes and girls say all sorts
of disgusting things
with godzilla great voiceovers you’re
like tell me to get in the van
i hear anybody crafts flaky baguettes
married look if you’re not in the high
art about french children doing booty
dances
there are plenty of more wholesome shows
on netflix like the floor is lava
awake the million dollar game and my
husband won’t fit
that last one surprisingly is not about
a seamstress who happened to marry a
morbidly obese man
i don’t understand the controversy
behind this cuties movie all it is is a
young girl’s coming of age movie
but some of you want to paint it as a
coming to age movie
gross i can’t believe i just said that
the outrage seems to be based on the
fact that these young girls are twerking
and that just shouldn’t be happening at
their young age
instead they should be square dancing
and riding miniature mechanical bulls
like the ones on toddlers and tiaras you
know the girls
running around blitzed out of their
minds on mountain dew while their mom
and dad sit back and watch
not knowing what to do because they had
a kid so young the girls and cuties are
self-starters in my opinion so if you’re
mad at anything be mad that they’re
entrepreneurs
any one of them could grow up to be the
next oprah winfrey coco chanel or god
willing
cardi b the part of the movie that did
freak me out was when she had her
brother’s phone and she snapped a
picture of her
bathing suit area and then posted it on
social media who’s giving this kid a
phone and that sure as hell isn’t
something that she learned from a woman
a woman would charge
we’re not talking about dick pics here
know your worth cuties just dropped on
netflix and parents everywhere are
outraged that’s it
we’re out on netflix in this house
apparently 12 year old kids everywhere
are just now learning what twerking and
sex is
we’re not using brother cletus’s netflix
account
anymore hey don’t get mad at me joanna
sue bobby be mad at them french
baguettes bunch of baguettes the
funniest scene
is when one of the cuties finds a used
condom and then blows it up like a
balloon
that part’s nasty but the funny part is
trying to convince us that the french
actually use condoms creepiest scene is
when after the league girl was twerking
for her family
they proceeded to throw water in her
face like some kind of sick
dasani bukaki dasani bukaki
that’s actually my sister stage name
over at the angry beaver
the nastiest scene is when the lead girl
offers herself up to her cousin for a
phone
ah i didn’t see anything wrong with this
scene
the truth is people are hypocrites dan
schneider has been exploiting kids for
decades on nickelodeon but no parents
cared because they grew up
watching clarissa explain it all ah yes
cuties the french prequel to dirty
dancing because nobody puts prepubescent
girls in the corner i’m not going to
watch it i don’t want to end up on a
registry because i’m a middle class
white guy with a scraggly beard and
that’s called entrapment folks right now
we’ve got outraged adults watching it
for sexual content so they can point at
the tv
like leonardo dicaprio and that mean
listen
i’m not saying we deserve this but
toddlers in tr’s lasted for nine seasons
that’s 120 episodes that was more than
enough time to do something besides age
out of the pageant circuit but now they
want to ban netflix and that’s a really
bad idea because after that all we’ll
have to watch is hulu amazon prime sling
tv hbo now crackle voodoo crunchyroll
and disney plus and i can’t live like
that
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