Guess The Movie From Its Bad Review

Welcome to Good Mythical More! Can we read bad press of movies? Pay no attention. And then guess the movie that it’s from? Can you? Let’s find out. But first, can we check our voicemail? Yes. Hey, Rhett and Link. I wanna say I’m a huge fan of your guys’ news. Also, I’m so glad Link got rid of his old haircut. It was weird. Okay, yep. We take feedback on our voicemail. Yeah, yeah. And that was a compliment. I’m glad to be who I am at all stages of my life. No regrets, man. I love this look

on you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This ketchup, mustard from the early ’90s look. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Ketchup and mustard. That’s us, ya boys. It’s like two guys that wanna hang out with the Mario Brothers. But they don’t let ’em. Let me button this up, I could be like April O’Neil. O’Neil. O’Neil. O’Neil. So, I have some quotes from film critics about films, and I’m going to leave the film out. You’re gonna guess what the film is. Okay, I just don’t know much about films. And what? Yeah. It’s not gonna be a good one for

you, I don’t think. Just a little story to start, that’ll probably bomb now that I started it. Walking around my neighborhood, as I do, and met a couple walking their dog and

the woman was like, “I’m also in media.” Yep. ‘Cause I think Cassie had premium. In media. In media. Yeah. I think it’s like, basically, when Cassie says what I do, people of a certain age are like, “Ah, that makes no sense to me.” “I’m a librarian as well!” Yeah, yeah, yeah, Media. Yes. And she was a film critic. I have to say, my first

thought was like, “Ooh, you’re probably really mean. You probably break a lot of hearts.” Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah, man. Wouldn’t that be your… Did you say that? No. What did you say? ‘Cause I don’t. Where does this story go? That’s exactly what I do in media. We both do the same thing in media, is what I mean. Oh man, yeah. It’s tough. It’s a tough thing. I guess it’s a necessary thing, but it’s like, they don’t dish it, like, say they like it. Did she say, like, “Oh, you can read me here,” or? She

did. And I’m just protecting where she works ’cause I don’t want people to make a connection. So wait, it was like a legitimate venue? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, well, we’ll talk later. Yeah. Okay, here’s the first one. “Blank is being marketed as a date movie. I think it’s more of a first date movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date.” This is Roger Ebert, you may have heard of him. That’s not who was in my neighborhood. For

Chicago Sun Times. Dang, this is hard. Yeah, that would be weird. So this was when Roger Ebert was alive. A date movie that sucks. There’s not a lot of information here. I don’t know how old this, oh. You do, in a sense. Is it one… One of them is still around, one of them’s not. I’m gonna give you options. Oh, oh. Okay. But I just wanna see if it just came to you. I was gonna say that “Valentine’s Day” movie, who everybody was in it, but I think that’s after his time. I don’t think… Are

you freaking kidding me? What? That’s the answer! Oh! That’s the answer! Yeah. How on earth? I literally looked at this list for this entire game, and I turned to Matt, and I said, “What is this movie? This is the one movie I don’t know.” What, what is… And it’s “Valentine’s Day.” You guessed it? Yeah, it’s “Valentine’s Day.” A movie What do you know about “Valentine’s Day?” From 2010. Yeah. starring everyone in the world. Yeah. That’s why it was notoriously panned. It had all these giant stars in it. Like, a crazy, ridiculous amount of stars. Jamie

Foxx, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Patrick Dempsey, Taylor Swift. Yeah. Jamie Foxx, did you say that already? The werewolf from Twilight. And Link, you had mentioned that one was still around, Siskel and Ebert, they’re both They’re both gone. giving two thumbs up in heaven right now. Oh, okay. Critic Heaven. Critic Heaven. Bradley Cooper. Good. Wow. Wow. That was, Queen Latifah was in it. I’m impressed you even remembered that movie. I mean, all it was was like a panned date movie. Yeah. I just was like, From any time period. I just remember people talking so much crap

about it. When Roger Ebert was living. And then, the saint, did Penny Marshall direct that? Gary. Gary Marshall. Okay. So I know everything about this movie. Gary. Oh, Gary. And then Gary did a second one that was about another holiday that was equally as bad. He did all, he did a bunch of ’em. What is it? New Year’s Eve. New Year’s Eve, yeah. Oh. Okay, let’s see if you can get this one without any options. “I’ve had mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, unrequited, and altogether un-fun, pseudo-romantic riff on “Romeo and Juliet”.”

I don’t know this, Marc Savlov? From the Austin Chronicle. Oh, there we go. That’s why. “Un-fun, pseudo-romantic riff on “Romeo and Juliet”.” “Pseudo-romantic riff”, hmm. Well, I don’t remember, so if it’s a riff on “Romeo and Juliet”, so like, forbidden love. What if it was just “Romeo and Juliet”, the updated version? That would be too easy. And that was not a bad movie. The one with, what’s her name in it? Claire Danes. Claire Danes. Claire Danes. That was not a bad movie. I liked that movie. It was good. What was the “Romeo and Juliet” movie

where they were singing and it was in modern times? Is that the one with Claire Danes? No. Claire Danes is not a musical. Are you thinking of West Side Story? No. The Leonard DiCaprio version? Yeah, Leonard DiCaprio was in it. That’s the Claire Danes. But was that set in modern, what was the modern day “Romeo and Juliet”? Like, it was… It’s the same. Yeah, it’s the same one. Okay. Do you want options? Yeah, I think we’re gonna need options. Okay, well one of them is “Romeo and Juliet” from 1996. Well, that was my answer. You

didn’t freak out. “Twilight”, “West Side Story”, or “Titanic”. Oh, it’s “Twilight”. It’s gotta be “Twilight”, which is kinda laughable. I did watch it for the laughs and I did laugh. It’s forbidden love, “Twilight”. That’s it. Case closed. Yeah. It’s “Twilight”. Gotta be it. I enjoyed watching “Twilight”. You’ve seen the “Twilight” series. No, I watched the first one. The first one. With a friend of mine who really liked them. Yeah. I remember when that was about to happen. I was like, “Oh, have fun!” Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot more low budget than I expected it

to be. The effects are bad. Yeah. Is that what you mean? I think it The writing was bad, too. I think it was. The acting was also bad. I think it was, a little bit low budget. Like, all the aspects of it were kind of bad. Which made me enjoy it. Makes it good. Yeah. “Twilight” budget, $37 million. It’s a small Low budget. It’s a small, That’s a pretty low budget for a movie that big. A small, little $37 million. Which Adam Sandler film is this review referring to? “Adam Sandler has succumbed to the Eddie

Murphy syndrome. He’s afflicted with the belief that we can’t get enough of him.” Alright, so this is obviously Sandra Hall. This is obviously after his sort of 90’s thing. This is 2000’s. This is Lil’ Dicky. Lil’ Nicky. Lil’ Nicky. That’s what I was thinking. This is in the Lil’ Nicky era. Because it can’t be, let me tell you right now, I had a friend, who I respect and love, tell me that I needed to watch that He has really good taste, too. That Halloween movie that Adam Sandler made two years ago on Netflix? Yeah, Hubie

Halloween? Hubie Halloween. Hubie Halloween? Hubie. Hubie. Hubie. It was unwatchable. Yeah. But he likes Adam Sandler. It was unwatchable. So it might also be Hubie Halloween. You’ve named things on the options, but you’ve not… What was after the golf one? Happy Madison. He was on this roll. It was amazing. That was all great. Those worked. If you were Water Boy. If you were in the 90’s. And then after that, before Lil’ Nicky happened, something Big Daddy? What happened is that he… Remote! Remote Control! Oh, Fast Forward! Rewind! Click! Click. That’s it, Click! He had a

remote control, he could control… Menu! Guide! Is that it? Seven. No, the options that you haven’t said Is it the one that he went on vacation? that could be it are Jack and Jill or Grown Ups 2. It’s not Water Boy. Grown Ups 2. Grown Ups 2. It was Jack and Jill. Oh. What is Jack and Jill? Adam Sandler has done well. Other than that, who’s Jill? I really liked the one that the crazy brothers made recently that had what’s her name in it? Julia, what’s her name? Oh, he is Jill and Jack. Oh, and

that’s the Eddie Murphy of it all. Yep. Yep. What? His sister is coming for a visit, and it ain’t pretty. I can’t hear you ’cause Link’s talking. Well, you know what? Uncut Gems, yeah. Uncut Gems was great. Adam Sandler, and then Punch Drunk Love. He’s done these. He’ll go off of his Sandler-ness and then make great movies. He’s a good actor when he wants to be. And he’s a great basketball player. His fashion sense is… Twinkie Fingies was giving you the Julia Fox version, and that’s why you couldn’t understand what he was saying. Yeah. He

kept saying “Uncut Gems! Uncut Gems!” He was saying “Uncut Gems!” “Uncut Gems!” It’s like, what? I can’t even hear your joke. “Gems.” That’s a good movie. Okay, next one. Have you seen that movie? No. “The film could have You should watch it. “turned out worse, but only via the addition of a Tom Green cameo or an accident in which the actors caught on fire.” From Keith Phipps, The A.V. Club. Well now, at this point, we’ve named a lot of movies. So, Tom Green did make a cameo, and no one did catch on fire? I just

wanna clarify. Yeah. There’s no information here, then. I think the Tom Green gives you a time period. Late 90’s? Okay. “Could’ve turned out worse,” I think early 2000s? Yeah, probably. “But only via the addition of a Tom Green cameo.” I’ll give you options. Yeah, need it. “Showgirls”, “Catwoman”, “Wild Wild West”, “Shallow Hal”. I think Tom Green like, well, yeah. It’s a weird thing to… I think the only “Catwoman” is the only thing that makes sense to me, because… “Shallow Hal” I think is my guess. Yeah, it is. It’s definitely my guess. We both made our

guesses. And I guess we’re both wrong. I guess we’re both wrong. So now I’m gonna guess “Wild Wild West”. “Wild Wild West”. I didn’t hear one of you guess. Oh, I said “Catwoman”. It is “Catwoman”. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. “Catwoman”, I haven’t seen any of these movies. I guess that’s a good thing. “Shallow Hal”, that’s Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don’t remember much about it other than the concept. Yeah. “Wild Wild West” is a time piece. Yeah, I don’t know. I wanna invite you to check out my podcast with my dad. It’s

actually my dad’s podcast with me. If you haven’t listened to it, I have fun doing it. I think you have fun listening to it. It’s called “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach”, ’cause my dad lives in Myrtle Beach and he dispatches his news to me. And he also reads anything that you email him at [email protected] That’s his email address. Lots of times it’s jokes. We’ve never gotten in an argument. Ever? Never. Huh. We always get along. Keep making that podcast. 30 minutes every Thursday. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Check it out. Me and my dad, we

have fun. I’m proud of it. I’m proud of him. He’s a good boy. Okay, wow. Okay. “Staggering into the silence of the theater lobby after the ordeal was over, I found a big poster that was fresh off the presses with the quotes of junket blurbsters: ‘It will suck the air right out of your lungs!’ vows Diane Kaminski. If it does, consider it a mercy killing.” Ooh. Roger Ebert. Ooh. So is this a horror movie? ‘Cause they’re talking about killings and staggering into the silence. It just seems like that’s the tone. Yeah, you’re in the right

area. It’ll suck the air right outta your lungs. It’s not like “Final Destination” or something. I mean, I don’t really like This is Roger Ebert. That style, but like… I’ll give you some options. Those are not bad movies. “Ultraviolet”, “Armageddon”, “2012”, or “Taken”. Uh, “2012”… Have you seen any of these? “Taken”. Well, I’ve seen “Armageddon”. “I will find you.” That’s “Taken”? It’s Liam Neeson, I get… Or is that “Last of the Mohicans”? Oh no, that’s “Last of the Mohicans”. Liam Neeson, I don’t know if I’ve actually ever seen “Taken”, but I feel like I know

exactly what happens in it. Right, cause people always say whatever the line is from “Taken”. Well, he’s done like “I will find you.” twelve movies that are exactly the same. “2012” was panned, I know that. That was like a disaster movie. And I’ve never, I don’t know what “Ultraviolet” is. It’s like an action movie. I’m going with “2012”. “Armageddon”, did they say “Armageddon” was a bad movie? I don’t think so. I don’t think that Roger Ebert would’ve said it was that bad at the time. That was one of the two meteor movies, right? “Armageddon” was

Bruce Willis, right? Mhm. Yeah. That was a good, I mean, it was what it was. But it was good for what it was. It was better than the It was a great theater movie. Than the Robert Duvall asteroid movie, which came out the same year. Not according to Roger, ’cause it’s “Armageddon”. He didn’t like “Armageddon”. “Armageddon”. What is Armageddon on Rotten Tomatoes these days? Let’s look at that. Yep. We’ll get that up. And then I wanna see… Oh, wow. Oh, what is it? It’s 37%? 37%. Now go back to the “Taken” speech that’s often misquoted,

’cause I wanna see. Right down there, “Thrillist”? “I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you. I will find you, and I will kill you.” Are you thinking of, “I have a very particular set of skills?” No. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is it. It’s from that speech. “If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you. I will find

you, and I will kill you. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills.” That is what you’re saying. Mhm. So, yes. So yeah, it’s the preamble to what you have already read. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career.” I thought you were talking about “Princess Bride”. Gary! “Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.” Yeah, this was Gary Marshall, right? Check out my

podcast with my dad, Dispatches From Myrtle Beach. New episodes every Thursday. It’s a half hour, wherever you get your podcasts.

%d bloggers like this: