Jurassic World Dominion Movie Review – Beautiful contrivances.

“I do have another job for you. Short, hot, money’s double.” “What’s the cargo?” Hello, World Wide Web. I’m Decker Shado, the internet personality with the best hair. And continuing Jurassic January… Well, I’ve still got one more dinosaur movie from 2022 to talk about, Jurassic World Dominion. That, of course, being the latest offering in the Jurassic Park franchise, a respected science fiction universe that started in the nineties. Captured the imaginations of millions of people across the globe and pushed motion pictures ahead with jaw dropping visual effects never before seen. Though if you weren’t around for that,

I don’t blame you if all you associate Jurassic World with is explosions, merchandise and Chris Pratt. Which we get in full force for the latest movie: Jurassic World Dominion. Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom concluded with the dinosaurs spreading all over the planet and Dominion picks up where that left off. Dinosaurs are everywhere, and as such, life is slightly more complicated. However, the real problem is teenagers. That, and secret human cloning and genetic manipulation, that just so happens to be the key to the latest crisis so only Chris Pratt can save the day. I think. The movie

is about two and a half hours long, there’s a lot to cover. So let’s take a look at Jurassic World Dominion and see how quickly I can at least give

you the gist of it. Our story opens when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Always got to give it to the Jurassic Park franchise, pushing for scientific accuracy as best they can. As long as you ignore that ovaraptors were always found near eggs because they were nesting, not eating them. But the important thing is dinosaurs from all kinds of time periods and continents can come together so that

the Tyrannosaurus rex can show how awesome it is, as it is brutally killed by a giganotosaurus! Then gets bitten by a mosquito. This is the very Rex that got cloned for Jurassic Park. As such, we suddenly skip ahead 65 million years later, to present day where dinosaurs are attacking movie goers. Amazingly stupid movie goers who don’t notice the T-Rex stomping around the Drive-In, despite all the screaming and the fact that there isn’t even a movie on, this is an intermission. Once the body count rises high enough, people realize that’s not part of the show. But

don’t worry, a dinosaur wrangling helicopter crew is there to capture the beast. “I don’t see it, you see it?” How exactly do you lose a T-Rex? I understand it’s night, but those things are pretty big. And you were in a helicopter specifically looking for the thing with a searchlight already trained on it. Anyway, it’s time to catch the audience up on things. Specifically those who missed the last five movies. Don’t worry. The hard hitting journalism provided by Now This explains the Jurassic Park was an awesome movie 30 years ago, but since then we got this

new Jurassic World franchise. One thing led to another, and now there’s dinosaurs all over the place. Not to worry. The one world government gave sole power over the situation to the handy dandy multinational pharmaceutical conglomerate, BioSyn Genetics. Led by Louis Dodgson, played by Campbell Scott. “Some note that these government contracts have led to massive spikes in BioSyn’s profits and rumors persist of a human clone.” Aww, come on if anything Now This would be on the front lines telling everyone that that is unfounded, dirty misinformation. My suspension of disbelief is already completely shattered. But this is

the plot summary. So they explain that it’s Charlotte. Lockwood’s clone. Just so you know. Anyway, enough recap. It’s time for the story to begin. Under the cover of night in Nevada, Claire Dearing, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, breaks into an illegal breeding facility raising black market ceratopsids. However, one looks like it’s sick. And dying. So… “No, what are you doing? We can report this.” “The DFW takes days to investigate.” Just take it with! Won’t prove anything other than the fact that you have a sick or dead dino on your hands. But when performing espionage, always

add in unnecessary complications for questionable gain. So let’s ignore digging for anything to really get these guys. Just drag the dino out to your getaway vehicle. “Nope.” And Justice Smith returns as Franklin Webb. Dodging dinosaurs and lava in the last movie wasn’t quite enough for him. But baby sitting is a bit too far. Of course, their antics don’t go unnoticed, so they must run. Fleeing into the very large and very obvious outdoor herd field. The dinosaurs ramtheir pursuers, leaving them conveniently unscathed. “Everybody good?” “No!” But not even Zia Rodriguez, played by Daniella Pineda, can stand

working for Claire any longer. She realizes now the lady that got eaten by the Mosasaurs was the lucky one. But this is what Claire’s been busying herself with between movies. Slowly dealing with the immoral dinosaur trade. Guess if she can’t do it, nobody can. But unfortunately, her little group is falling apart. “I got a call last week. It’s a real job. Something I could do to effectively I got to take it.” And no doubt it helps when you start getting paychecks instead of fines. So that wraps up her responsibilities between movies. But how’s Owen doing?

So played by Chris Pratt. He’s got a far more awesome hero approach to the dinosaur problem. Go straight cowboy, and wrangle them parasaurolophuses up like nothing. Sure, there as wild as they can be and enormous, but Chris Pratt here? He has the power of the hand. Calming it just like the velociraptors in Jurassic World. Although in that movie they establish the reason it worked is because he raised those raptors since birth to respect him and follow his commands. Here? It’s just a wild parasaurolophus. It doesn’t know him from an evlisaurus. But, hey, I mean… He’s

got the hand! Taming the beast instantaneously. That way he and the rest of the gang can bring it to a proper dinosaur sanctuary. But what’s this? They are approached by a gang of ne’er do wells and led by Rainn Delacourt, played by Scott Haze. They threaten Owen at gunpoint and demand The dino. They intend to kill it, poach it, sell its bones and all manner of grisly evil things, for profit. Therefore… Owen just gives them the dino. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. The explanation is that he can’t be heroic because he has to be there

For someone. That someone being Maisie Lockwood over here, played by Isabella Sermon. She’s out on the town, doing teen girl stuff. Wandering aimlessly, giving silent, establishing shots and of course, stopping by the local sauropod herd so we can get our majestic Jurassic Park scene about how wonderous and beautiful dinosaurs are as they completely upend life as we know it. In keeping with that theme, she returns home to find Claire, her adoptive mother, who has a strict rule for her to never go past the bridge. “I know, Claire. There are people out there who would do

anything to find me.” “I’m not angry. So that means you don’t have to be angry.” “I’m not angry.” But she’s a teenage girl and does not like being told what to do. Oh, living here alone with my parents on all this land in the middle of a forest in this cabin. It’s just like a prison. I would much rather just go out there, be found immediately and hauled off to live in a cell where they’re giving me tests in a lab for the rest of my life. But it’s not like she’s your average teenager either,

remember? She’s a clone of Charlotte Lockwood, and as such, is having a good old fashioned crisis of identity. “You’re the only you who ever was. What?” “Nothing.” “Was that like.. really corny?” “So corny.” Oh thanks, movie. We came real close to having a line that was almost profound, but you messed that up real quick. Anyway, when Owen gets back, he hears about how disobedient she has been, and he will set her straight! Later. First we gotta see that Blue is still kicking around, and even got a little youngin this time around. Teaching it all about

hunting and plot twists. We see a rabbit. But a wolf grabs it. But that was the baby’s target all along! But what’s this? A pair of hunters are hunting the Raptors. However, the Raptors hunt the hunters! Anyway, whole day gone. Time to bring up that rule number one thing. “Listen, kiddo. We should probably talk about you going into town.” “I don’t think you understand how bad it is being trapped here.” All I ever get is fresh air, privacy and all the Xbox I could want. Why can’t I just go to high school and be ostracized

like a normal girl? Somehow, the lab rat life is worse than hermit life sngle fails with a youngin. And besides, keeping her locked away isn’t keeping her safe anyway. Seriously, as many times as she went into town, she was never caught. But oh, looky here. Rainn followed Owen home, found the raptors to poach and just so happened to spot Maisie among them as well. And know there is quite a price on her head. Never mind that for now though, there is something much more important stirring in the mystical faraway land of Texas. Massive locusts eating

up all of the crops. This is like a dream come true. Enormous insects invading Texas? I’m in Texas. I’ve been playing every EDF game I can get my hands on, I’ve been preparing for this day! But who would just so happen to respond to this situation than Dr. Ellie Sattler, with Laura Dern reprising the role. Yeah, she’s a paleobotanist, which isn’t exactly related to mutant insect science. But but but but but But these locusts eat plants. And paleobotany is still botany. Perhaps plants can offer a hint as to what is going on here? “That’s the

Bennetts corn. The locusts didn’t eat that.” “You plant the same seed as the Bennetts?” “No, we are independent. They use BioSyn seed.” Or the mystery can be so bleedingly obvious a scatologist could figure it out. Still, this is merely circumstantial evidence and Sattler wants proof that BioSyn is behind this. So take a DNA swab of a handy dandy mutant locust and track down another respectful figure to back up her claims. Dr. Alan Grant, played by Sam Neill. Though Sattler might be the only one left who respects him. “That’s a T-Rex. They’ve been around since like

the nineties. I don’t get why we’re here digging up bones. It’s just seems kind of random.” “Right.” And got to admit, Jurassic Park 3 did that a lot better. Here? He’s just like, Oh, I guess you’re right. I am just an old man stuck in my ways. But in JP3, when he got that question, he rightly pointed out that the creatures at Jurassic Park were genetically modified theme park monsters, and the fossil record was true dinosaurs. But I mean, who cares about accuracy here this is Jurassic World Dominion we’re talking about. Point is Dr. Sattler

arrives like Alan! Guess what? They’re making a new Jurassic World movie. But fans were so burnt by Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, the studio has to give them some reason to come back for this one. So we’re going to be in it. Not even minor cameos either. We’re actually semi major players. I mean, come on the movie’s 100 and 50 minutes long. Plenty of time for us to have our own adventure. As such, he agrees to tag along and help solve the mystery of the mutant locusts. So it’s off to the BioSyn sanctuary. “How do you

even get in there?” “I got an invite from their in-house philosopher.” Ian Malcolm, once again played by Jeff Goldblum. But unlike last time, not relegated to just a couple of scenes they could have films in an afternoon. With that, they’re off to the Wild Life relocation facility in Pennsylvania. This is a little stop off that all wild dinosaurs must go through before being shipped off to the BioSyn sanctuary. So yeah, black market dinosaurs, shady secrets and biblical plagues going on. But lookie! Cute baby dinosaurs. “Alan… you never get used to it.” At least that’s what

the studio hopes. Got to sell these tickets somehow. So they’re off to BioSyn to get the answers we need. Later. First, we got to see Maisie meet Blue’s little baby before meeting Blue. But not so fast, for Owen and the power of the hand will keep Blue at arm’s length. “She won’t hurt us, right?” She doesn’t bite, but she has her ways. Hey, kid. If they did give you total freedom, guess what? You still wouldn’t have any friends. Figuring Blue is nesting nearby, Owen says, Hey, how about you stay inside and I go off looking

for the nest for no apparent reason? That way you can be nice and unprotected as you decide to just pop on your bike and leave right when the poacher just so happens to be staking the place out! Therefore, Maisie can get conveniently trapped at that bridge she’s been told not to cross all poetic like and Owen can be just far enough away to clearly see this happen, but nowhere near close enough to do anything to stop it. Not only that, the bad guys kidnap Maisie and Blue’s baby and Blue is angry. “I am going to

get her back. I promise you that.” But what’s this? Blue has defeated the power of the hand, leaving Owen completely defenseless. But wait! He has another hand. So Blue runs off and Owen has to figure out what to do. But wouldn’t you know it? The actual paying job that Franklin got just so happened to be working for the CIA. How convenient. He’s got all the inside information they could ever want. Easily identifying the kidnaper who they just so happen to already be working on busting during a deal in Malta. That sounds exciting. So let’s just

jump back to the BioSyn sanctuary in Italy. Grant and Sattler meet up with Ramsay Cole, played by Mamoudou Athie, who is kind of like Dobson’s second in command. That means he knows the ins and outs of how the place operates. Talking about how many dinosaurs they’ve relocated here, the fact they have a system that magically keeps the flying dinosaurs away from the aircraft and of course that they keep the creatures under control via a handy dandy implant that zaps them in the brain until they comply. “Strike you as a little bit… uhh…” “Cruel?” “Cruel.” “Do

you know which voltage was in the electric fences at Jurassic Park?” Well, Tim certainly does. After landing, they run ight into Dodgson. He’s excited to tell them all about how their genetic research will lead to medical breakthroughs like saving technologies, yada, yada. We’ve heard it all before. Point is, he’s too busy to show them around anyway, so that’s Ramsey’s job. So he’s going to have to be the one to bring them over to Ian Malcolm. “In order to instigate revolutionary change, we must transform human consciousness.” Oh, God. He’s become Deepak Chopra. To put what he’s

trying to say in simpler language, humanity was so caught up in thinking about whether or not they could they never stopped to wonder if they should. Much like this whole weird relationship thing the series has been dancing around between Doctor Grant Doctor Sattler since the first movie, despite it being absent in the book, not to mention the slang. “Do you two talk a lot?” “He slid into my DMS.” “He did what?” “How do you do, fellow kids?” “What?” Now what else do kids these days think is hip? Of course, ridiculously overcomplicated coffee served by under

enthusiastic baristas spouting Italian words at random. However, the noise is perfect cover to allow Ian to whisper to Ellie that he knows about the locusts and the key to the mystery lies within the depths of this facility. This wristband will open the restricted areas and they can find out the truth. We don’t have to wait that long. As Dodgson heads over to Henry Wu, played once again by BD Wong. He explains that the locusts they bioengineered are stronger than intended and will cause a world wide famine. And Henry says they must destroy them at once.

“What?” “All of them.” “No, no. Henry.” “Like, yesterday.” “We don’t want to cause a panic. We want control.” Suggesting that they can fix the problem, but won’t because we need a driving crisis situation. Besides, if they solve the problem now they might trace the locusts to BioSyn and then get upset. And solving it later they Well the point is they got the innocent little girl in the baby dinosaur everyone cares about so bad guy plans are continuing unabated. On that note, let’s hop over to Malta and meet Soyona Santos played by Dichen Lachman. She’s the

evil smuggly type and Malta is effectively Mos Eisley, a wretched hive of scum and villainy, where all kinds of seedy black market dinosaur dealings take place. As such, it’s Maisie’s layover and where the CIA sting operation is taking place. So Owen and Claire meet up with Barry Sembene, played by Omar Sy. He brings them the secret seedy underbelly everyone knows about and gives them the basic rules. “Don’t look at anyone. Don’t talk to anyone. Just try to blend in.” How long until one of them makes a scene trying to chat up somebody at random? “You

lost?” Surprised it took that long. Had a lot of shots showing off the eye candy and the setting that really slowed down the stupid. This would be Kayla Watts, played by DeWanda Wise. She’s a super smuggler with a kind streak. Willing to tell Claire her best bet is just turn around and pretend she never found this criminal underworld. Claire, however, is like, Have you seen my daughter? My asterisk daughter. Now Watts did earlier but refuses to get involved. No bother. They found Delacourt, right on time for that deal they intended to interrupt. What are they

smuggling today? “Atrociraptors. Thuroughbreds. Trained to kill. Those idiots making hybrids had it all wrong.” Yeah remember the INDOMINUS rex in Jurassic World? How it was so dangerous because it was part Raptor. And then in Fallen Kingdom they introduced the next step. The Indo- Raptor, where they mixed it with raptor! And I was saying then that at that point they may as well just go full raptor. Well, here is where that line ended up. Pure raptor. As they’re training is exactly the same as the Indoraptors from the last movie. Get a little laser sight and all

you got to do is paint the target and the purebred atrociraptors will do the rest. But before that can happen, the CIA swoops in to stop the deal resulting in an action scene! Bullets fly, baddies escape and the dinosaurs begin to break free amidst all the chaos. But Owen’s fine. After all, he’s got the power of the hands. You know who doesn’t though? Delacourt. Dinosaurs have disarmed him on that power real quick and Owen is able to get him to talk, revealing that Santos has her! Not that Owen helps him after that, or personally kills

him. He just waits for the dinosaur to kill the guy, leaving our passive hero morally unblemished. However, finding out that Santos took Maisie only means they have to deal with her atrociraptors. Hey, thanks for standing there, buddies. Would hate to miss out on another action scene because one of you decided to pop her cranium before she got a chance to use that. And while we’re all standing around here, may as well remind you all, Hey, have you been enjoying the video? You might want to like it or even subscribe. That really helps the channel and

of course. So the Raptors attack! Fortunately plot armor can keep the important ones alive. And Claire can just so happen to be nearby. Conveniently enough, spotting Santos right next to the handy dandy stun gun. Chasing her down, she demands to know where they took her asterisk daughter! “BioSyn. They’re taking her to BioSyn.” Oh, my God. The one and only company that had any interest in kidnaping her turned out to be the kidnapers. Man I’m so glad we spent all that time hopping continents to figure that one out. No time to take her in because Raptor

attack and then Claire is painted with the laser. Wait. Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around? Well, the point is, she must run! Leaping out of a window, which just so happens to be right where Kayla was walking by. How convenient! Kayla decides may as well get involved now and hops in the handy dandy car that Claire just so happened to fall into and drives her away. They must fly to BioSyn, but Owen is still nowhere near them. No bother. He can just take this handy dandy motorcycle and join the chase scene. Claire

battles raptors as theropods eat random miscellaneous civilians. But where are they going anyway? Why to the airfield, of course. Kayla just so happens to be parked on the runway and ready to go with her smuggling plane, which of course means that she and Claire make it there long before Owen and begin to take off as he tries to catch the flight on his motorcycle while still being pursued by the atrociraptors. Who must have been living on a diet of marathon runners and Monster energy drink because they’d have to be running over 100 miles an hour

in order to be able to catch a plane as it’s taking off. Oh well, just whack it with a motorcycle and that is that. Thus, Owen and Claire are on the Kayla Express headed straight to BioSyn. It will be dangerous. But if they intend to save Maisie, it’s what they have to do. “You’re willing to risk your life for people you never met?” “You want to ask questions or you wanna ride?” Listen, if you want the characters to make sense, the movie ends here. So just Just let it slide and we’ll dangle some pretty dinosaurs

in front of your face. Dinosaur. But we don’t have to wait for them to reach BioSyn. After all, that’s where Grant and Sadler already are. It seems their little house tour is over. And in record time. They still got a bit of a wait to the sanctuary ride. So, hey, how’s about you mill about aimlessly to your heart’s content until then. “Elevator’s are down this hall. Not not those. Those lead you down to the sub levels. You need special clearance to get down there.” “Oh, okay.” We definitely don’t want you wandering around restricted areas. You

might see some stuff that we don’t want getting out. Hint, hint. And a bin of disguises just ripe for the taking. How convenient. Never mind that for now. Remember Maisie? Well, she’s here too. And Doctor WU has fully transformed rrom minor side character to evil mastermind, all the way back to ineffectual putz as it turns out, he’s barely got any idea how these genetititics work and he’s completely at a loss as to how to stop the locusts. However, with Maisie’s help, he believes they can because of who she is. No, not the clone of the

long dead Charlotte Lockwood, but the clone of the then still living brilliant scientist Charlotte Lockwood! “Is that me?” “Yeah, just like Blue. Charlotte was able to have a child all by herself.” Explaining why they kidnaped Blue’s baby as well. No name Beta. Except… well, Charlotte cloned Maisie from herself. Like Dolly the sheep style and Blue just asexually reproduced. So that’s. That’s not similar at all. So I have no idea how they’re supposed to help you in the slightest. But what is helpful is the fact that Charlotte died of a horrifying genetic disorder. But being the

brilliant geneticist that she was and Wu isn’t, she magic a cure for her clone baby Maisie, but not herself. “If I could just study you. And Beta, whose DNA was never changed, I could fix a terrible mistake.” So the plan is to genetically alter a locust. A thing he’s already done. So that it can alter the genes of other organisms. By using what he learns from Maisie and Blue’s baby Beta, who never altered the genes of anyone else. So I still don’t know what he’s trying here. Nor why DDT doesn’t seem to work, but no

time to ask petty questions. It’s time for Sattler and Grant’s infiltration! Seems to be going easy enough. They change into their disguises off screen, avoiding any complications. And there’s absolutely nobody else in this secret underground lab. How convenient. For some reason, Sattler thinks they need to look for a mature specimen for the DNA test. Although that’s not our DNA works. But even worse… “Alan! You said there was no time. Can you get it?” “Of course I can get it.” In just a couple of seconds, I can’t even count how many rules of quarantine and espionage

they just violated. Somehow their ineptitude doesn’t lead to a crisis situation. That would be Maisie. Left alone, while Dodgson chews out Wu for not solving the locust problem yet, she takes the opportunity to snatch a handy dandy security bracelet, free Beta and run out the door. So they sound the alarms, which set off the locusts something fierce. We have to have something to provide an obstacle for these two because once they finally escape the locust lab, Oh, would you look at that? Absolutely no security or anything to stop them whatsoever. “You’re Dr. Ellie Sattler and

Alan Grant. You were at Jurassic Park. And wouldn’t you know it, they just so happened to run right into Maisie. How convenient. Thus they run as fast as they can away from nothing. Right around the time that Kayla is coming in with her airplane. Thing is, BioSyn isn’t expecting a delivery from her, and that’s suspicious. Now they could gather the zero security personnel they have to greet them where they land. Or they can turn off the handily established magical flying dinosaur repellent causing a quetzalcoatlus to attack the airplane. Thus they must escape. “If you’re going

to eject, you need to do it now. I only got one chair and she’s in it.” Awful odd setup. I understand only having one ejector seat when you tend to fly alone. But why would you make it the one that’s the hardest for you to get to and not, I don’t know…. your seat? Obviously, they’re not going to kill off Chris Pratt here. So him crash landing with Kayla while Claire ejects is less a goodbye and more see ya in 20 minutes as Claire escapes in the ejector seat and the airplane smashes into a frozen

lake. Will they survive? Find out next time. As we got to jump back over to Sattler and Friends, as they rush to escape, they run into Ramsay. You know what this means. “BioSyn’s responsible for the locust epidemic. Dodgson’s covering it up. You were right. I’m here to help you.” He’s actually in on it, too. We can’t have them running for any opposition at all down here. What kind of top secret lab do you think this is? So the man with the best fashion sense in the whole movie saves the day, providing Ellie, Alan. And Maisey

with an escape route. Speaking of escaping, Claire is all alone in the sanctuary jungle. Man, this place has more biomes than a minecraft server. And must run and hide from the razor sharp claws of the therizinosaurus! An herbivore, but a scary looking herbivore. But how did Owen and Kayla survive the crash? Completely unscathed. Anything is possible as long as you’re off screen. Unfortunately for them, though, this Pyroraptor is very much in frame. Diving into the icy water, it causes the two of them to run. But Owen falls into the frozen lake. Don’t worry, this is

a movie, where scenes on a tropical planet are filmed in five degree weather and hypothermia isn’t a thing as long as nobody mentions it. That means it’s back to plan run from the dinosaur. Fortunately, they’re just so happens to be a handy dandy caged elevator right there, allowing them to escape certain death. Once again. “You good?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not shook at all. You?” “No, no. Good.” I’m just happy to finally see a raptor with some real plumage represented in one of these films. That gives them the right to eat at least one

of you, I’d say. Now they have to track down Claire’s ejector seat. Later. First we see that Dodgson is just now realizing that, hey, Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler broke into the top secret Zero security lab and got proof that the locusts are the fault of BioSyn! How did they get in? “One of our cameras saw Ian Malcolm put something in Sattler’s pocket.” Well if he did, it had nothing to do with the access wristband. He put that in her hand. So now Dodgson must stop this. They’re on the Hyperloop. So just knock out the

power, and they have nowhere to go. Except for the fact that the Hyperloop just so happened to stop at a natural entrance to the mines. How convenient. This means they aren’t trapped and can push forward to find an exit somewhere down these dark tunnels. Trying to make up for lost time, Dodgson wastes none of it firing Ian Malcolm by the next camera cut. Which is the perfect opportunity for him to lay it all out in front of everyone. Dodgson is a crooked corrupt creep and he’s exploiting them all and they all go along with it

because dinosaurs are oh so cute. “You’re just like everyone else. You see what you want to see.” Excuse me. I don’t see a Mechagodzilla anywhere in this facility. Point is, Malcolm is fired and Dodgson is evil. But, back in the jungle. Just a short hike from the tundra. Owen and Kayla on the hunt for Claire. But instead Find a Tyrannosaurus Rex. This is the Jurassic World franchise. T-Rex is old news. We have an even bigger baddie to deal with. “Allosaurus?” “Giganotosaurus. Largest known terrestrial carnivore.” Giganotosaurus! because they only ever bring T-Rex out anymore to get

smacked around and establish how awesome the new dinosaur is. As such, the big G beats the crap out of Rexy. Leaving her to sulk and retreat. Allowing the other dinosaur to steal her lunch. Will the humans survive? Well, they’re going to be left off screen for a while, so probably. First, we’ve got to show that Ramsay, being a secret good guy, did not escort Ian out of the facility, but instead is setting him off on a secret rescue mission to help get the group out of the mines. Speaking of secrets, Dodgson has been busy doing

his best to protect BioSyn by destroying all the research and data they have on the Little Mutant Locust Project. Can’t link them to the catastrophe if no evidence exists. But why did they even make them in the first place? “The locusts were designed to spread genetic modifications to crops. Protection against droughts, frost, disease, a breakthrough.” So… BioSyn specializes in genetic manipulation, and they already make their own seeds. But decided the best way of going about this was not by upgrading the genome of their seeds, but by loading up mutant locusts with the ability to modify

the genetics of crops in secret without the permission of anyone, and then just not testing them, just release them out into the world like uh.. What? Not to mention that also means they already know how to make one organism alter the genetics of another without needing to kidnap Maisie and Beta. But the point is it didn’t work anyway, and the locusts instead started ravenously eating all the crops like a swarm of locusts or something. Thus, Dodgson must destroy all the evidence. And then he’ll have plausible deniability. So maybe the authorities will think this is some

other multinational pharmaceutical company that specializes in genetic manipulation. Never mind that for now, we got to establish a threat to the group in the mines. Dimetrodon! One of my favorites. And it’s really impressive that they actually managed to clone that thing with blood they found from mosquitoes when Dimetrodon went extinct long before mosquitoes even evolved, actually. But also, technically speaking, I’ll just put this out there, Dimetrodon aren’t really dinosaurs. That line led to, you know, mammals. It’s one of our ancestors. And even the name Dimetrodon means two measures of teeth, as they are one of

the earliest examples of creatures evolved with differentiated specialized teeth for cutting, tearing and chewing food, much like they intend to do with our group of heroes. But what’s this? Ian Malcolm swoops in to save the day! Kind of. The writers have a choice here. They can either allow him to be heroic, or they can use his attempts as a cheap gag about his ineptitude. While behind the scenes, Ramsay is the real one who puts the code in to unlock the gate, saving the day. But not all creatures can be hidden behind a gate, as Claire

has made her way to an observation station. But here’s the nearby calls of dilophosaurus! But unlucky for them, Owen was hiding just out of frame! And lucky for him, this franchise has never gotten right that dilophosaurus was actually about 20 feet long. Reunited, they need to figure out where to go from here. Later. First we got to see Dodgson continue to destroy all the evidence of BioSyn’s involvement in the locust problem, by burning the locusts alive. But wouldn’t you know it? The containment room that had the built in fire containment system, it just so happened

to not be built to actually withstand using it. And the mutant locust also just so happened to not be killed by fire, or die incredibly slowly, allowing them to burst free in a swarm of flaming bug carnage, as the few that do die rain down and mildly inconvenience Ian’s getaway vehicle. He slams on the gas desperately trying to get into an accident. This results in the jeep rolling over and falling down a cliff side, which Just so happens to deposit the group right at the observation tower the other group has been standing around. How convenient.

Slightly less convenient. “What is that?” “Giganotosaurus. Biggest carnivore the world has ever seen.” Biggest terrestrial carnivore. This thing ain’t got nothing on giant sea creatures alive today. But it’s a threat now. Kinda. It’d be a shame if this thing ate up all the big name cast and we still got a half an hour of movie left, so it just doesn’t. They hide feebly behind the tiny jeep and the big G suddenly has the spatial awareness of a guard in a Metal Gear Solid game. However, when they move on to the observation tower, it attacks. The

metal guard. Around the ladder. Got to give them enough time to escape after all. But once they do manage to barely get inside, it just bashes it’s face through the window. That really should have been more reinforced than that. But forget it. The humans can slap it around until it tires of the scene and leaves. Really? I felt like that was more of a dig at the da da da da ba da. But now that like everything is on fire, all of Dodgson’s underlings remind him that, technically speaking, they’re supposed to use those brain implants

to get the dinosaurs inside the facility. Evacuating the sanctuary. Frustrated, he beat the crap out of a chair. Then agrees, yeah sure bring them in. So the alert is hit. All dinosaurs are to get in and all the humans are to get out. Speaking, which the heroes are still trying to figure out how to leave, as the state of the sanctuary isn’t doing them any favors. They’re going to need some way to turn on the aerial deterrent system if they hope to fly home with how insanely aggressive pterosaurs seem to be. Seems this observation tower

just so happens to be connected to the main building and a power relay thingamajig. How convenient. Also, for those keeping score at home it’s only now that Dodgson realizes that Ramsay has betrayed him or not so much, even realizes it when the guy effectively just tells them. Hey boss. I’ve been playing for the other team because you’re insane. The world is literally on fire right now and it’s kind of your fault. “I would not break this.” “I’m not you.” And even knowing he’s betrayed him, he’s like the dude, dude, you’re you’re my protege. My beneficiary,

my my only friend. Please come back, I’m so lonely. Anyway, our heroes have made it to the now completely abandoned command center of the facility and are like neat! Just got to turn on the ADS. But what’s this? They don’t have enough power to turn it on. And that can only be fixed manually. Oh, yeah, but they got to find Beta too while they’re at it. “Where is that? Water treatment center?” “Hydroelectric system. Sub eight.” “Give me 8 minutes I could find her.” Now we’ll just assume that Beta stayed put this whole time. Because, I

mean, really, don’t want to go back home to Blue with that kind of egg on your face. “We’ll be on Channel five.” “Okay.” “We’re on three.” You have to be on the same channel to actually hear each other. We learn this on the Fisher-Price walkie talkie. Unless you just don’t want to talk to each other and you’re being really passive aggressive about it. While they get to work, Dodgson decides It’s about time to skedaddle. Hopping in the Hyperloop, right when the ladies are rerouting the power. “No. No, no, no, no.” Where exactly was Dodgson going

by the way? I mean, there’s a helipad like, right there at the sanctuary, and I don’t think they ever established a parking lot at the far end of the Hyperloop. Eh, who cares? The heroes have found Beta. But the dinosaur is still a raptor and still dangerous. But do not fear for Maisie has mastered the power of the hand, and Grant can now wield the power of the hand, tripping up Beta long enough for them to get tranquilized and captured. “Sorry, girl. I promised your mom I’d get you home.” Owen, you don’t need to tell

them that, they’re They’re unconsious. And a dinosaur. Oh, but that power shutdown really was more a power cycle. Which somehow turns the burnt locusts into zombie locusts! Is that how it works? They looked pretty dead seconds ago. Eh, No bother. If they need to cut the power to these systems Claire, can just grab a handy dandy fire axe, and cut the power the old fashioned way. “Wait a minute. Wait a minute.” “Aerial deterrent system, active.” “Victory! Victory!” Which automatically reroutes the power over to those systems they were trying to turn on in the first place.

How convenient. And the locusts die again, whatever – point is, power’s out and Dodgson decides to just hoof it to the wherever he’s going. Which would be straight to the afterlife! Fleeing back into the shuttle does him no good. As there are several dilophosauruses that just sprung up out of nowhere. And lord knows where they came from, the hyperloop’s been out of commission for, what, 5 minutes? Do dinosaurs just roam around in those tunnels normally? Is the plan just to smash through them on the way to miscellaneous destination? Anyway, the ADS is back on line.

Kayla has a ride and they got Beta back. Nothing left to do but leave. However, Henry Wu is still here, reminding us that he needs to make a locust to genetically alter the locusts designed to genetically alter plants and as such, really, really needs Maisie’s genetics so he can reverse engineer how her mother cured her genetic disease and Beta so he can… something spontaneous asexual reproduction. Look, kid. You’re the only key to fixing this crisis because the plot says so. “It’s okay. It’s what she would have wanted.” Personally, I would have rather had a plot

that made a lick of sense but oh, well. So they got to get out of here, which Is made slightly more difficult by the fact that all the dinosaurs have been stuffed in the main courtyard and it’s kind of hard to land their getaway vehicle. Oh well, just gives them plenty of time to gawk at the spectacle of the special effects one last time. And who would just so happen to show up but the T-Rex. Which means, of course. The giganotosaurus also arrives and they do battle! This being a Jurassic World movie, of course, this

fight means nothing in the grand scheme of things. But for those keeping score at home, it goes like this: Giganotosaurus absolutely beats the crap out of Rexy and leaves her for dead. But what’s this? She didn’t hear no bell. And along with the help of Edwardscissorhandsasaurus, they impale the big G. And as such, the humans can Oh, wait. They were already leaving before they even concluded. Oh well, point is happy ending. Alan and Ellie finally share a kiss becoming a relationship 65 million years in the making. Doctor Wu is still a terrible geneticist. But with

the lifesaving assistance of a 14 year old girl, he finally cracks the code on how to make locusts that alter genetics differently from the locusts that altered genetics he already made. Spreading a locust plague, but one that affects locusts this time, so a good plague. Kayla gets herself a replacement airplane just like her first. So she can get back to a lucrative life of smuggling. And Beta is reunited with their mother Blue. Running off into the woods together to eat more hunters. “We’re part of a fragile system made up of all living things. If we’re

going to survive, we’ll have to trust each other.” Well sending self-replicating raptors out into the wild to reproduce doesn’t exactly sound like a long term plan for ecological stability. But hey, what do I know? Anyway, that was Jurassic World Dominion. Believe it or not, I was actually trying to keep this short, but but there was a lot to talk about because. Wow, they really… Did a lot with this one. At two and a half hours long, there was a ton of time for plot, spectacle, nuance and exploring the characters individual stories. Now we got spectacle.

And it’s pretty clear to me that this was the main point of the movie. I like me some spectacle, eye candy and grandeur that you can only see in a major motion picture. But the plot doesn’t just suffer as a result. It is downright ridiculous. Not in a fun, campy way, but in a way that makes it clear that things happen mainly as a means to keep the spectacle going and you’re not supposed to question it. People happen to be where they need to be. No logical reason needs to be established, and dinosaurs just so

happen to be where they need to be and please ignore how illogical a lot of them are. They’re not going to be explained. You’re just not supposed to think about it. The biggest problem, though, has to be the central driving crisis of the plot. BioSyn already makes their own seeds, but they decided to mutate locusts to help other crops in total secret, of course, which was convenient when it turned out that they actually accidentally triggered a crisis that would lead to a worldwide famine. But now, while we already established they had the method to cause

gene therapy from one organism to another. Now they needed to kidnap Maisie and Blue **(BETA) with insanely flimsy reasoning. To re learn how to do the thing they were already doing. Now, with the help of living beings that are absolutely not examples of how to do the thing trying to do, I don’t know if it’s even possible to pay so little attention to the story that this wouldn’t bother a viewer, as it’s clear that it’s just a means to an end, some way to get the established characters involved in the story, some way to shoehorn

Blue into the plot. Something we’re supposed to just accept at face value, even though it is even more insane of a premise than the vaccine for a fungus out of a brain plan from The Last of Us 1. It was nice to see the old characters brought out again and actually used this time. But that isn’t enough to save this jumbled mess of a plot. Just something to help this movie in its base entertainment value. Much as I can complain about the characters, the motives, the problems, the solutions, and the sheer audacity to think this

is a plot worthy of the Jurassic franchise. I can’t deny that the movie is at least entertaining in giving us gorgeous visual effects and decent, if occasionally jankily edited action scenes. Coming in at two completely unguarded top secret laboratories out of five. I think that’s my longest review yet. Though I still look forward to MauLer’s video when he gets around to it because this movie does need at least 6 hours to really explain everything. Thank you all for watching. I have been Decker Shado and remember, anything is possible with the power of the hand. “Jurassic

World? Not a fan.” And if you’re still kicking around here. Have you like the video yet? Because hey,this was a lot and that really does help so please and could subscribe while you’re at it If you haven’t yet, you probably have. YouTube doesn’t really show my videos to people who aren’t already subscribed to me, but on the note of my videos, I have also reviewed all the Jurassic Park movies as Jurassic World one and two. And on the topic of videos, you might like there’s the algorithmically selected recommended video that I have nothing witty to

say about because literally no idea what that is. Is it also about dinosaurs? I’ve done a lot of them.

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