Ricers Cars Fanboy Hates Porsche 911 Turbo S Review Spoof

so if you don’t have much of a sense of humor 
about your car you should probably go to a fanboy  
site because this is a comedy spoof about why 
import fans like me hate the porsche 911 turbo s
this poverty car wishes it could be a subaru or a 
honda or toyota but it’s just not so we’re going  
to talk about all the shortcomings of this car. 
let’s start with the positive. with this front  
spoiler dropped like this the ground clearance 
gets low enough to cause sufficient damage if you  
go over speed bumps or get too close to a curb 
like a car should. that’s it now let’s move to  
the negatives so first let’s talk about the wheels 
20 inch diameter? that’s ridiculous what is this a  
farm tractor? no all you need is a good set of 
12 inch wheels so you’re not wasting torque on  
this massive wheel and then let’s look at this 
poverty single lug you can tell this car wasn’t  
made for performance or aggressive driving. 
you need to have at least four lugs or even  
five like the big boys. i wouldn’t trust this 
thing in a turn would you? didn’t think so.  
now let’s check out this atrocious rear end. this 

the spoiler in the highest position it’ll go.  
if the spoiler isn’t at least as high as the roof 
line then it’s completely worthless because the  
body of the car is just blocking it and you’re 
not going to get any downforce off this spoiler.  
there’s just no engineering behind this 
car and one sticker that’s it? look how  
much horsepower they left on the table by 
not filling the back window with stickers  
that also lets people know how many suppliers 
are sponsoring us by selling us their products.
those sneaky germans won’t even let us see the 
engine. i’m not surprised though. we couldn’t  
trust them in world war ii why should we now? 
unlike the friendly japanese who let us see their  
engine and they share with us and they allow us 
to put bright colored parts in there so everybody  
sees how fast it is. i wouldn’t even be able to 
put any hood pins in this to lighten the latching  
mechanism ridiculous. the exhaust on this car is 
way too restrictive. it’s wasting flow by going  
out in four tips. it should have one big tip four 
inch minimum attached to a good folger’s exhaust  
for optimum performance and the tips are black 
not blue so i can tell it’s not tuned right.  
how do they get four tips anyway 
six cylinder four tips. are they  
not even using two of the cylinders? let’s get 
inside the car for some more disappointments.
look at the silly tachometer right in the middle 
where nobody can see it. you need something  
really big mounted right off to the side on the 
steering column right behind that steering wheel  
for visibility. let’s talk about the tranny and 
i’m not talking about who you were hitting on at  
the club by accident last weekend. it has an 
automatic mode but it also has a manual mode  
but is it really manual mode? i don’t see 
a clutch jumping out down here by my feet.  
it’s still an auto come on and if it’s not a 
real manual how am i supposed to drive around  
in first gear bouncing off the rev limiter so 
everybody knows how much power is under the hood  
and they know when they hear that that i’m going 
to show them what time it is on the streets.  
the only way this thing’s going 
to show anybody what time it is  
is with that. this car is also all-wheel drive 
which just adds a whole lot of weight to the car  
and it just wastes all the torque going to the 
other axle. all a car really needs is a front axle  
an engine and a place for me to hang on when i 
hit the nos button everything else is optional and  
just weighs you down. this radar detector might 
add a little bit of power because it’s got more  
flashing lights on the inside but it might keep 
me from getting pulled over and if i don’t get  
speeding tickets from cops how are people going 
to know how much raw power this thing has and how  
much blatant disrespect for the law i have? it’s 
my obligation as a racing authority to show all  
12 of my instagram followers that i normally have 
the power of this car but i drive it like it is  
like that time i almost got tased by that 
cop for going two miles over and brutal.  
at least it’s got a backup camera in it so i can 
watch those c8 corvettes i’m blowing off the road  
well if i were in my car not this one. why do 
these seats have to be so low too? i’ll barely  
be able to fit my 380 under that seat in case i 
gotta throw lead sideways if i’m on another racers  
turf and things get ugly and on the passenger 
side a fire extinguisher? if i take some girl  
home from the bar we can’t even fit a bottle of 
purple passion under that seat now that’s even  
if i can get a girl to come back with me in 
this car seat like this zero room in the back  
so cramped. my chances are pretty 
minimal even with my strong game  
because what girl’s going to want to get in this 
car anyway? tired design from decades ago please.  
so i’ve heard these things are supposed to be 
fast but with everything i’ve seen i don’t have my  
hopes very high and really how is a six cylinder 
gonna be faster than a four-cylinder anyway?  
all right let’s see if this thing 
actually has any kick or not.
mommy i want my participation trophy.
not quite sure what happened there 
just cut that last part please.
now there’s a car.
i remember these brakes they’re not even real 
steel there’s some kind of plastic looking stuff  
either so not feeling too good about that. oh 
i don’t know about you but i think i got to  
change my shorts. with all these disappointments 
i just can’t see why anybody would choose this car  
over so many better options all these design 
flaws shortcomings and performance and handling  
it’s pretty obvious why porsche has no 
racing history. subscribe to my youtube  
channel if you want to learn more about 
how to enjoy amazing machines like this.

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