Taylor Swift Makes Grammy History, Tucker Carlson Spotted in Moscow | The Tonight Show
-Welcome, welcome, welcome to “The Tonight Show.” You’re here. You made it. Welcome. Thank you for watching. Let’s get to today’s Taylor Swift news. Uh… Last night was the 66th Grammy Awards, and Taylor Swift made history by becoming the first artist to win Album of the Year four times. Great. And this is exciting. Everyone else there got an Emmy nomination for acting surprised when she won. Yep, Taylor dominated the Grammys. If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday. Taylor now has 14 Grammys. Wow. -Wow. -She has so
many, on Super Bowl Sunday, she’s going to use them to hold salsa and guac. Not only did Taylor make Grammys history, she also announced that, on April 19th, she’s releasing a new album called “The Tortured Poets Department.” -Ooh. -Then every other artist releasing an album on April 19th was like, “Well, looking more like a June release now.” Some political news here. I saw that, for the second year in a row, President Biden has declined to sit down for an interview before the Super Bowl. It’s for the best. You know, Biden would’ve said something like, “Here’s
my question — when did they stop wearing leather helmets?” And they go… Don’t worry. Biden will still be part of the game. He’s going
said it would be ratings gold. Yep. Trump would help ratings for that famously unpopular Super Bowl thing. Over the weekend, Biden easily won the South Carolina Democratic primary, claiming over 95% of the vote. He actually beat out two people, Marianne Williamson and Dean Phillips, who both finished with 2% of the vote. That’s right. There were two other people running against President Biden. And earlier today, we went down to the 30 Rock Plaza to see if literally anyone can name these two candidates just by looking at their photo. Take a look. -Hey, there, Jimmy, I’m down
at Rockefeller Plaza to play. Can you Name Marianne Williamson or Dean Phillips? ♪♪ Can you name this person? -That is Dean Phillips. -That is correct. Can you name this person? -Yeah, it’s, uh, Marianne Williamson. -That is correct! Can you name this person? -That’s Dean Phillips. -That is correct. -Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s, uh, Marianne Williamson. -Yeah, that is Dean Phillips. -Dean Phillips. -Yeah, that’s Dean Phillips. He’s worth $77 million. -That’s Marianne Williamson. She spent two years studying theater and philosophy at Pomona College in Claremont, California. -That’s Dean Phillips. He completed his MBA at the University of
Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management in 2000, I think. -Excuse me, excuse me. -Sorry, I’m late for work. -Real quick. Can you name this person? -Yeah, that’s Marianne Williamson, from Houston. She’s the youngest of three. -Excuse me, sir! -Marianne Williamson. Yeah, yeah. -That’s Dean Phillips. He founded Penny’s Coffee in 2016. -That is correct. Wow. Well, there you have it, Jimmy. It seems that most voters know exactly who these two candidates are and made a very informed choice in South Carolina. Back to you, Jimmy. -Oh, my goodness. Wow! They knew a lot about them. -Wow! They knew
all about them! -Unbelievable. -Such detail. -Yeah. Well, get this — ’cause over the weekend, the Russian media published photos of Tucker Carlson in Moscow. And a lot of people think that he’s there to interview Vladimir Putin. It would be Putin’s first time on Western television since he was the Disco Caterpillar on “The Masked Singer.” “I know that –” Hey, you guys see this? A Russian astronaut just broke the record for most time in space at 878 days. -Oh. -When people asked how he managed to live in such a cold, dark, and empty place, he said,
“You should see my apartment in Russia.” “This is nothing. It’s like going on vacation.” A lot of people are talking about this. FIFA just announced that the 2026 World Cup final will be held at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. Yeah. Now when someone’s wearing an Adidas tracksuit, you won’t be able to tell if they’re a player or just a guy from new Jersey. You know, the game is in new Jersey when someone scores, and the announcer goes “Gabag-o-o-oal!” Listen to this. I read about an airport in Italy that has plans to build a working vineyard
on its roof. Yeah, people are like, “I’m getting hints of Terminal B.” It’s fun till you look down at the cashier at Hudson News, is barefoot squishing grapes. You go, “I don’t know.” That’s the beautiful thing about humans, though. No matter what the culture, no matter the nation, everyone just wants to get drunk at the airport. You know what I’m saying? -Why not? Airport wine? Love it. -8:00 a.m.? Sure. -Well, this is fun. A group of 30 middle school employees in Kentucky won a $1 million Powerball jackpot. Yep. 30 middle school employees are splitting $1
million. They all quit their jobs, then the math teacher was like, “Hang on a second.” You guys, the Super Bowl is this Sunday. It’s been a fun season, so we want to take a moment to recognize all of the great outfits that NFL players wore to their games every single week. There was some great fashion on display. It’s time for an NFL Fashion Show. First up, here is Von Miller from the Buffalo Bills. -Whoo! -Wow. -He’s wearing the Watched Yellowstone Once collection. Up next, we have Stefon Diggs from the Bills. Yeah, his look is the
Grandma Might Have Been High When She Got to the Arms collection. Next up, here’s Travis Kelce from the Kansas City Chiefs. He is modeling the Poorly Disguised Cop at a School Dance collection. “You guys know where to get any grass around here?” Next up, here’s Brock Purdy from the 49ers. He’s wearing the First Day of Middle School collection. “Leave me alone!” Next up, here’s Jarrett Stidham from the Denver Broncos. His look is the “A Weed Dealer for Christmas” on Hallmark Channel collection. Love that special. “A Weed Dealer for Christmas.” – -Here’s another one. Xavier McKinney
from the Giants. He’s modeling the Escalator Death Trap collection. “Don’t even try. Take the stairs.” Finally, we have Patrick Mahomes from the Chiefs. He’s wearing the Bad Guy in a “Spy Kids” Movie collection. They all look great. [ Cheers and applause continues ] And, finally, guys, it is the first week of February. Dry January is officially over. Bars are about to get much busier, which I guess explains why this music video debuted last night at the Grammys. It is called “Cool Bartenders.” I hope you enjoy it. ♪♪ -♪ We’re cool bartenders ♪ ♪ Soul patches
and suspenders ♪ ♪ And when it comes to being hip ♪ ♪ We are repeat offenders ♪ ♪ Candied lemon, twist of lime ♪ ♪ Peppercorns, a sprig of thyme ♪ ♪ Lavender, Curacao ♪ ♪ You’ll drink it up and be like, “Wow” ♪ -♪ Take some bourbon, take some mint ♪ ♪ Simple syrup, add it in ♪ ♪ Pour it in a julep cup ♪ ♪ That’ll cost you 50 bucks ♪ -♪ We’re cool bartenders ♪ ♪ Soul patches and suspenders ♪ ♪ Ernest Hemingway quotes ♪ ♪ In the bios of our Tinders ♪
-♪ If you want it on the rocks ♪ ♪ We’ve got you covered, dude ♪ ♪ Our ice comes only in two sizes ♪ ♪ Crushed or giant cube ♪ -♪ We forgot to mention ♪ ♪ You can’t get our attention ♪ ♪ We don’t hear you over there ♪ ♪ We’re listening to Bon Iver ♪ ♪ Olives and raw sugar cane ♪ ♪ We imported both from Spain ♪ ♪ Pomegranate, cardamom ♪ ♪ We imported both from Guam ♪ -♪ Charcoal, beet juice, pine nuts, cocoa ♪ -♪ Ginger, chartreuse, figs, Four Loko ♪ -♪
Amaretto, coriander, celery, and honeydew ♪ -♪ No matter what you order, you can bet that we are judging you ♪ -♪ Armagnac, tequila, rum, you won’t be leaving soberly ♪ -♪ Take a sip of mine and tell me how it tastes like potpourri ♪ -♪ The only beer we have is IPA ♪ -♪ Pale ale ♪ -♪ The only beer we have is IPA ♪ -♪ This one’s pumpkin! ♪ -♪ No pilsners, no stouts ♪ ♪ That’s not what we’re about ♪ -♪ Tastes bad ♪ -♪ No lagers, no porters, we control your orders ♪
-♪ You want an old-fashioned? ♪ -♪ We’ll make it new ♪ -♪ Want a margarita? ♪ -♪ We’ll make it blue ♪ -♪ Dry martini ♪ -♪ We’ll make it wet ♪ -♪ Just one drink ♪ -♪ You’ll be in debt ♪ -♪ We’re cool bartenders ♪ ♪ Soul patches and suspenders ♪ ♪ It’s closing time for this here song ♪ ♪ And this line is our ender ♪ -My thanks to Keegan-Michael Key, Boy George! Stick around. We’ll be right back with “Battle of the Instant Songwriters.” Come on back.
