Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey Movie Review – Psycho Old Bear
Hello World Wide Web. I’m Decker Shado, the internet personality with the best hair and boy, this sure set the internet on fire, didn’t it? And at least until the news of the other horror movie starring a bear on cocaine. But before that was the talk of the town we had this. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, a dark slasher flick starring the cute and cuddly plush bear we all know and love, who suddenly has decided to just murder a bunch of college age young adults for funsies. And how could this happen? Simple. Winnie the Pooh
fell into the public domain in 2022. At least in America, it’s not quite there yet in Europe, which does make this release a little bit awkward there, but not as awkward as in China, where it was actually about to come out and then it got pulled for technical reasons. Technically, Xi Jinping banned the character of Winnie the Pooh because everyone kept saying he looked like him. But this Winnie the Pooh has a far lower body count. In Blood and Honey, unforseen tragedy hits the 100 acre woods. And the cute and cuddly friends Christopher Robin knew
oh so long ago have grown cold and evil. Now they haunt of the 100 acre woods ready to kill all who dare enter. Coincidentally enough, when
a cheesy horror flick as a sketchbook style animated short establishes that Christopher Robin met the familiar characters while exploring the 100 acre woods as a child. “Crossbreeds, who some would describe as abominations.” whom instead of being stuffed animals or just animals, are literally anthropomorphized creatures, which is honestly pretty horrifying in itself when you think about it. And every single currently public domain face is here, others will become public domain in the coming years. But first Christopher Robin befriends them all and even brings them food so they can play. This goes on for years, up until
Christopher Robin grows to young adult college age and has to go away for a while. “Then winter arrived. The nights were deathly cold, the land barren and completely devoid of food.” But oh darn it, when you provide food for wild animals for years and then suddenly take it away, they find it very difficult to find it on their own. Not that the famine helped. The narrator, played by Toby Wynn- Davies, explains that Pooh and friends barely survived by eating Eeyore! Shame, I’d really like to have actually seen him in this movie. Understandably, this was kind
of hard on their psyche and they were like anthropomorphic or not. Let’s just forget about that human half of us. “And returned to their animalistic roots, swearing never to talk again.” But nothing about the clothes, living in houses or using tools. It’s pretty much just a vow of silence and murder. Anyway, it’s been five years since Eeyore became tapulone di borgomanero, and Christopher Robin, played by Nikolai Leon, is out of college, along with Mary, played by Paula Coiz, as they head towards the 100 acre woods. “And why am I so special?” “Why are you so
special? Oh, well, that is because soon will be Christopher Mary Robin.” His fiancee! These are the rules of engagements. First, you introduce them to your family, then you propose and then you introduce them to your half man, half beast BFFs, as he technically has told her about his childhood adventures with Pooh, but needs to take these steps to prove he’s not insane because after all, she might be entirely supportive of him and love him with all her heart. But that doesn’t mean we actually believes any of this shit. “They exist, Mary. I couldn’t have made
all of this up.” “You don’t need to be ashamed of that. Lots of people have imaginary friends as children.” Or as we call them today: Parasocial relationships. But while she’s here for Chris, it’s getting kind of late, and they’re going to need to head back soon. But what’s this? Chris hears something and declares it must be Pooh! So they must run! Towards Pooh. The opposite of what people are going to be doing for the rest of this movie. Finding the little village, Christopher is taken aback. It seems to be the right place, but everything he’s
ever so slightly twisted… like American McGee’s been through here. Thus, Mary is terrified and says they must leave at once! “Look you’re not in any danger, okay?” I know them. Alright?” What’s the worst that could happen? You’re only in the opening of a horror movie. Oh, wait. So despite her protests, they press on past the ominous grave of Eeyore and into the house. However, things only get more disturbing as Mary discovers a horrifying drawing of Christopher Robin. However, before they can leave, they hear someone coming and quickly move to hide. The visitor is enormous and
heads right to bed while Chris and Mary continue to remain hidden, waiting out the jump cut to nighttime before they move to escape. But before long, more weird sounds terrify Mary. “Piglet! Piglet, stop!” And she is ambushed by Piglet, who was waiting just out of frame. As such piglet, played by Chris Cordell, chokes Mary to death with a chain despite Christopher Robin’s cries of protest. So she’s dead. And he runs to escape. Right into Winnie the Pooh, played by Craig David Dowsett. “Pooh! Pooh, Pooh you need to help me, please. There’s something wrong with Piglet.
He just killed my wife.” Your fiancee. Unless while you were hiding under the bed, he just Just slipped her the ring cause he figured eh, don’t really have that much time left. But Christopher soon realizes that Pooh is also insane. And now he’s cornered between Pooh and Piglet. And you should get used to that. These are the only two we see all movie, despite references to Owl and Rabbit. Once they get a hold of Christopher Robin, we suddenly jump back to sketch book animation. Either that or they didn’t get quite around to filming everything, so
they just figured, fuck it. Show them the storyboards. Do your best. Anyway, we’re 13 minutes in, may as well get to the opening credits. Honestly, I’d like to stop and mention these simply because they put a lot of effort into this and even dropped a few little Easter eggs. If you look hard enough. “What is that, a pig-bear-man?” “No, stupid. It’s man-bear-pig.” Nevertheless, it’s time to introduce the real star of this movie, Maria Taylor, who plays Maria, a woman with some trauma as we see her explaining to her therapist, played by Gillian Broderick, that she
can’t escape the feeling that he’s still out there watching her waiting to strike. “Have you thought about taking a weekend away? Go somewhere quiet. Disconnect from the busy world.” And being a horror movie protagonist, of course, she jumps at the opportunity to be alone in the middle of nowhere where no one could possibly come to help her. And why not the 100 acre woods? Sure, the opening credits went on and on about missing persons, but eh? The real problem is that among her invited friends, Tina, played by May Kelly, hasn’t even left the house to
join their weekend holiday together. “Right you hear that? Okay, that is the door, okay? I’m coming. I’m coming, I won’t be long.” “Yeah. All right, you flake.” You know, normally young adults wait until they arrive at the spooky location before they decide the gang needs to split up. But it’s taking a while to get there, and we need to keep the scares coming. So stopping for gas at the Redford garage. Maria sees a bunch of missing persons posters, but the movie never prominently puts them in the frame, so whatevs. The real terror is being startled
by the owner, Logan, played by Richard D. Myers. He’s like, Yeah, gas pumps don’t work. The ones down the road at the other station might and she goes to leave but is scared once again by another random customer, Charlene, played by Danielle Scott. Okay, that’s enough unnecessary fright. Time for her to reach the getaway with the rest of her friends. Most of them, anyway. Jessica, played by Natasha Rose Mills, wastes no time in getting everyone to unplug, as agreed by turning in their phones to be completely ignored. Yes, everyone, including the social media addict Laura
played by Natasha Tosini. “Lara.” “Fine, whatever. Fine!” “She did it.” “Whatever.” “She’ll definitely notice it’s gone as well.” “I don’t need it.” Because in horror movies you got to find some way to establish why the characters can’t reach the outside world. you either have to go into this whole rigamarole as this is the one spot of southern England that Verizon can reach or just have them voluntarily give up their phones. And wouldn’t you know it, they pulled that stunt so fast, now Tina can’t reach any of them to find out where to go. And she
is well and truly lost. She’s found the 100 acre woods but has no clue what direction to go in. So in that spirit, she just leaves the car and wanders into the forest in hopes of finding something. And despite the movie being called Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, I’m still kind of surprised that they waste no time in bringing out the monster for the flick. Like, Hey, you want Winnie the Pooh horror? We got Winnie the Pooh horror! Fleeing in terror, Tina runs not back into her car, but over to this convenient shed and
hides underneath the woodchipper for safety. However, while she believes the hideous monster to have left, it turns out that Winnie was merely hiding just out of frame, tearing her shirt off, bashing her face in and jamming her headfirst into the wood chipper. Okay. Okay. Plus one for the woodchipper kill, which conveniently makes up for the negative one for the surprisingly low quality CGI blood effects. Never mind Tina’s horrifying death, though the rest of the characters figure she just ain’t coming and have more important matters such as Alice and Zoe here play by Amber Doig-Thorne and
Danielle Ronald. Alice set up a nice romantic surprise for Zoe. But Zoe is like we’ve been dating for four days. Maybe slow it down a tad. Also, Lara does the only thing she knows putting on some makeup and dancing for a mirror. But it’s just not the same without the dopamine rush of mountains of likes. So she just grabs her phone anyway, which nobody notices because it’s time for Maria to lay out the reason for their vacation. That being the horror she faced as she was stalked by this weird guy played by Chris Cordell, who
eventually broke into her house and tried to disrobe her in her sleep. “The police found his computer and found loads of me. I had no idea.” “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you girls because it just wasn’t my place.” Especially don’t tell Lara, that bitch’ll be all over TikTok farming views from Maria’s trauma. But now it’s all better. And she’s with friends just like Winnie the Pooh or with friend. Anyway, as Piglet peddles an electric generator to keep the lights on out of the woods, allowing this nighttime scene to be lit well enough as
we see that Christopher Robin is still alive, captured and chained up by Pooh. He begs for mercy, for forgiveness, as he never would have gone to college if he knew that Pooh was going to turn into a homicidal maniac in the interim. But Pooh remembers what Christopher said when he was younger and played by Frederick Dalloway. He said he would never leave. He promised he promised. Sometimes it’s kind of hit and miss, but when the movie gets the rage just right it is very nice. Of course, Pooh isn’t going to take his anger out merely
on inanimate objects oh no, Christopher has caused this pain and so he will bring Christopher to suffer for it. Using Eeyore’s tail to whip him mercilessly. And it’s not just physical torture he’s into but mental as Hey, Chris, there’s something about Mary. She’s fucking dead. Well, getting him to scream in total defeated anguish is fun and all but Mary’s corpse is starting to stink. So Pooh heads out into the woods to dispose of it. However, as he wanders the land, he hears something that requires investigation. The unmistakable, suffocating presence of an E-girl! Oh, that reminds
me. Remember to like and subscribe. Smooth. Now that she’s done taking dozens of pictures of herself, she checks what to post only to find a weird guy in the background of one of the pictures. Now, you would think this means she’d tell someone or being a stupid horror movie character maybe goes to investigate, but nope, she believes there’s a good chance that this weirdo is Maria’s stalker. And as such, Maria’s problem. So she just goes back to relaxing in the Jacuzzi with the music up, and her back turned to the threat. And oh would you
look at that? She’s captured by the weirdo she literally saw coming. In the spirit of keeping the kills creative, Pooh hops in a car while Piglet holds Lara in place, allowing this silly old bear to run over that bitch’s cranium! Her screams of death do get the attention of the others. And upon discovering her mangled carcass, they figure there’s a problem here, especially considering the message written in blood, telling them to get out. Oh, yeah. And the horrifying monster men wandering around outside. That’s a pretty clear indication right there. “We need to find something to
defend ourselves with.” “The kitchen! C’mon, c’mon c’mon.” Fucking UK. I swear to God. Returning from the kitchen with a hammer, Zoe takes Alice and heads to the pool to make sure the back door of the house is secure while Maria hits us with a shocking revelation. “I’ve got a gun!” No idea how the hell she managed that. UK gun laws are among the strictest in the world. Most horror movies have to go through some convoluted measures to try and explain why they can’t get guns. Or at the very least just show the the enemy, the
killer, whatever. They’re just immune to gunfire somehow. But here the story traditionally takes place in southern England. That is a very easy out to just say, hey, they can’t get guns. Retrieving it from her room, Maria shows us she’s got a nice big honkin revolver. So good taste, at least. Of course, her trigger discipline is profoundly bad. Hammer cocked back and finger resting on my hair trigger. It’s a movie, though, so no negligent discharge unless the script says so. The real danger is when Zoe and Alice go to check to see if the pool room
is safe. As it turns out, no. In her panic, Zoe trips and falls into the pool, terrified that Piglet is about to kill Alice, she shouts at the monster until it sets its sights on her. And just got to ask, was this scripted under the impression that they’d have a much larger pool to work with? Because seriously, how is Zoe so bad at escaping? The thing’s like ten feet wide and it ain’t deep as we see when Piglet hops in and very, very slowly advances on her while she tragically can’t do that fall over and
slowly crawl away in four feet of water. Predictably, at the end of this, Zoe’s faces bashed in with a sledgehammer. What is surprising is that the CGI gore effects of that kill actually look pretty decent. After waking up to witness this, the trauma causes Alice to lose consciousness. Again! While all this was going on, Maria and Jessica have continued crouching down by the railing, waiting for Pooh to pass by again before moving, meaning they’re too late to interrupt anything but just in time to find Zoe dead and witness Alice being carried off by the creatures.
Meaning as Maria has that gun they are still well within time to do something about it. “Are you sure I shouldn’t just shoot them?” “Alice is close and you might hit her.” Well, then maybe shoot the one that isn’t carrying Alice. Or just, I don’t know, do something. Meh, why make a daring rescue when they can just sit on their thumbs and watch the creatures carry their friend off into the woods? And they certainly take their time on that rescue operation. Getting the beasts ample opportunity to tie Alice up, gorge a bit, her to come
to and then have Pooh slap the shit out of her until she is knocked out once more. Okay, Now, Maria and Jessica can swoop in to save the day. “Are you alright? Hey?” “They killed her.” They killed her… Uuugh… Oh, not again. Maria says they must leave at once. But what’s this? On their way out, they hear cries of pain and calls for help. “Jessica, if there’s someone else trapped here we can’t just leave them.” Okay, Let’s go with that. Still no reason for all three of you to stay there. Maybe. Maybe one can refuse
to leave the person in need behind, and then one other can stick with them to help keep them safe. While the third says that they’re going to run back home to call the police on your phones. And then along the way, they get picked off by… wait a minute Why aren’t you using your phones? Why didn’t you already get your phones by now? Are you seriously even now sticking to the agreement to unplug? As such, the three of them stick around and find none other than Christopher Robin. But upon freeing him from his binds, they
hear another scream. “She’s the only one they brought her in this morning. Go help! Help her. I’ll be fine. There isn’t any time! Just go!” Isn’t any time? How could he possibly know that… Oh, it’s only like 20 minutes of movie left. As it turns out, the remaining victim is none other than Charlene. Also, by no time to lose, they mean plenty of time to chat for exposition. And by they brought her in this morning, they mean she’s been here however long she needed to be in order to know that these creatures speak very rarely
a broken English. And she even knows their names. Pooh and Piglet. Piglet is the one who keeps mauling her, especially when she tries to strike up a conversation. With that out of the way, they finally remove the noose and get her out of there, only for her to look in a mirror and be horrified to learn that in all that mauling, she was brutally mauled! And grabbing the gun, she says she will not leave until she exacts revenge on Piglet. And with all that screaming and shouting for several minutes, Piglet is a bit hard of
hearing. It seems, though at least the gunshot got his attention. So the three girls stop and watch the scene because, boy, howdy. The cinematography is really driving hard the idea that this is a super tense, super serious and incredibly dramatic clash of good versus evil. “I’m gonna make you pay for what you’ve done to me.” Did Maria seriously only bring one freaking bullet? Hey wait a minute, the hammer’s not even cocked back. Is the revolver single action? Cock the hammer! Of course she doesn’t. Instead being mauled to death by Piglet. Okay, that didn’t work out
so well. So the girls move to run. Except for Alice, who hides, grabbing the hammer and ambushing piglet while Pooh is getting his cardio, chasing after Maria and Jessica, Alice ties Piglet up like he did Charlene and beats the crap out of him with a sledgehammer until he screams in agony, grabbing the attention of a certain silly old bear. Killing her just as she killed Piglet. But not exactly the same method. He impaled her through the mouth of the machete, whereas she bludgeoned Piglet with a sledgehammer just enough to keep him out of the rest
of the movie. But I mean, if he shows up in a sequel, we’re not really going to question it. So Pooh returns to chasing the last two survivors! And hey, wait a minute, we still got like 15 minutes of movie left. Ooh, I got it. They they they just so happen to find help out in the middle of nowhere. That handy dandy gas station attendant from the gas station that didn’t work is out with his friends Colt played by Marcus Massey, Tucker played by Simon Ellis and John played by Jase Rivers. They don’t know what
Pooh is, but they know he needs to get his ass kicked as they beat the crap out of him with various implements. Like he gives a shit. And Pooh tears Colt’s face off before karate chopping off Tucker’s hand and stomping in his head. Logan gets his throat slashed and John tries to run. But Pooh has telepathic power over bees! Because why not? Oh well. Free truck! Maria and Jessica try to escape, but their attempt to hit Pooh on the way only means he is now on the truck as well and is about to break inside.
But then Maria doesn’t crash into anything. She just hits the brakes really hard. Man, that anti-lock is something else. As she knocked herself out enough that she’s barely conscious, only able to witness Pooh take Jessica out of the truck and tear her head off. And wouldn’t you know it? Now the car won’t start and it looks like the end for Maria until “Fuck you!” Christopher Robin swoops in to save the day, cursing out his childhood friend and choosing vehicular homicide. He’s had a rough day. So he manages to save Maria. But oh, would you look
at that? Pooh is still alive. Not only that, but they didn’t bother putting on the parking brakes, allowing him to push the cars out of the way with ease. And once they explode, he has no problem catching up with the victims once more before he can kill Maria, though Christopher pleads with him one last time that it’s him he really wants, and if he lets her go, Christopher will stay with him forever. “You left.” “Nooooooooo!” But he does not believe him and kills her anyway. Which I suppose would make Christopher Robin, the final girl. Therefore
tragic ending. Everybody fucking died. Pooh is still evil stabbing the everloving shit out of Maria and Christopher Robin flees in terror into the night and we are left with one final threatening message after the credits. There will be a sequel! The greatest horror of them all. At least if you’re one of the mass of people out there who believe this is one of the worst movies ever made. But yeah, anyway, that was Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. It’s not one of the worst movies ever made. I mean, it’s not high art or even the
most well put together schlock. But based on the massive negative reviews this one is receiving, I’m guessing a lot of people checked it out who simply put aren’t into bad movies. Now, you don’t want your films to aspire to be low quality, but if you know my channel, you know, I love made some bad movies and oh yeah, Blood and Honey is bad surprising no one. And what kind of bad is it? Eh, mildly disappointing bad. Rather than some over-the-top B horror. It actually tries to take itself seriously and that it works here and there,
but there’s enough problems that prevent it from coming together as it should, which nearly results in this low budget flick about a bear from a kids story going on a murderous rampage, feeling pretentious. But then you get topless women being jammed into woodchippers to even it out. That’s the give and take of Blood and Honey, we’ve got decently acted characters being incredibly stupid, even for horror movie standards. An intriguing direction for the characters of the 100 acre woods that we only ever see realized with two of them, and well-paced creative kills with incredibly obvious CGI
blood that just takes you out of it. Personally, I think that Craig David Dowsett did a great job as Pooh being kind of awkward and almost friendly looking while also being very imposing and brutal. And Nikolai Leon did a decent job as Christopher Robin, despite having surprisingly little screentime at the end of the day, Winnie the Pooh blood and Honey is a low budget horror movie. Despite its inspiration, the execution is not nearly as creative as it could be. But if you want to watch young adults be dumb and picked off one by one, it’ll
do the trick. Coming in at two bear-pig-men out of five. Or to put it another way, two out of five. I love it. Thank you all for watching. I have been Decker Shado and remember carry more than one bullet. A lot more. “What’s happening to y’all, huh?” “He’s coming for us! He’s coming, he’s killed our friends!” “Who is?” “Pooh! Okay? We need to go now!” “Poo? You girls on drugs?” And it’s that time again. End screen element engagement. What other video could I recommend here? What is kind of like blood and honey? Well, I reviewed
Willy’s Wonderland. It’s kind of like a five nights at Freddy’s movie starring Nicolas Cage. Or there’s always the algorithmically selected recommended video, which I don’t know what it is, but I doubt it would be anything nearly that nutty.
