My millionaire husband requested me to stay at home and raise our children, I don’t regret it | LNN
He promised. He told me to raise the kids, Every time I could get frustrated and vent to him he just tells me to calm down He would tell me to hang on as I raise the kids. Right now I see the fruits Expectations are good but have realistic ones I’d like to tell you, thank you so much for being part of me fully I think when the rest of the people say how you’ve inspired them, – Do you love me first of all? – I love you very much As I usually tell you, I’ll love
you forever We don’t have a manual in marriage, that’s number one The exposure has been different. But the biggest thing Is the will power that is supposed to be in us. Most people are not willing. They are not trying The negative aspect has gone too far but if you have the will power, Me I’m sure all battles are won by will power When I tell you to continue believing in love guys, I bring the wife over to you, – I know my energy seems a lot – You are just okay Cox we just rhymed –
Without too much stories – I just reserved And you pause your education first – They carry on with education
hustled there for quite some time, but I dint have a choice anyway Even if I’m stuck somewhere, it’s usually very hard for me to express myself We keep arguing, “You have a problem but you can’t tell me, why?” But it’s just a background So, there was no way I would have stayed home because I need my life to move on I hustled there for some time, like a few months My friend was acting in set books I got the opportunity to join her He wasn’t comfortable with me going to act I don’t know for how
long… – You know I’ve done set books too? – Really? Then you go back home Another opening came up, another friend from church was working at an optical shop in town So I ended up working at the Optics shop It’s called Star Optics in town I met with Bonny… We’ve grown in the same church. We’ve been there for quite some time He was the kind of, young men who find themselves teaching maybe teens, something like that And then he was an artist, I think he forgot to tell you that I used to see him from
church for quite some time but, It wasn’t a wow for me because I used to consider him as an elder brother or something That’s how me met What made you say, “Let me give this man a chance?” As I said, we were together in church One would admire his energy, you just like it. But as I said, I took him as an elder brother – So you had brother zoned him? – Completely This one time we had a program called Knowing you So we went there and all that. That’s when we got to interact fully
That was it, cox I was not into anything completely After that, another Sunday we met in church, said hi and all that I teased him to invite us for lunch. He said we can go I asked him if he was sure since I don’t joke, he said yes And true to it, me and my friend that afternoon we were at his place and he made us lunch – Bonny knows how to cook? – Yes, but he does so secretly So, he made some lunch As we were chatting I kept telling him, “I know your wedding
is far, when are we celebrating?” He asks about mine and I tell him I’m still young. And just like that we started flowing, one thing led to the other We found ourselves dating. In fact, the funny thing is that I can’t remember a point where we said now we are Girlfriend and Boyfriend, We just flowed in it and in 2014, Compared to the standards we were used to in Dandora We used to reside at Umoja Innercore In a well decent…decent is not the word, – It was an upgrade a little bit – Completely, not at
little bit As we were there, he mentioned in his interview, He was working for his previous employer. I was working at the Optics too During that time we had some sound systems for hire Lynn our house was…I remember we have a photo where speakers occupy the entire sitting room Because the next day I think we had a gig We used to hire out the speakers and music system, just to hustle here and there Of course after getting into marriage you are like, “I don’t want kids immediately” I was just headed to the clinic as usual
and I remember, At the clinic the Doctor, I had not even gotten to the Sonographer, you know the Stethoscope? The Doctor used that thing and was like, “I can’t feel the heart beat” Maybe the baby is hiding or something. He called over another colleague of his They came over and still could not feel the heart beat They said, “Now we have to send you for a scan and establish where the problem is” I went for the scan and unfortunately we lost the baby That’s why he was talking of…I think he mentioned miscarriage in his interview
But, one thing about us, Some things will not be able to shake you up Actually we had consulted another Doctor who was telling us that… We were told to undertake like 1 million tests but we decided to put on hold first And I remember him telling me, “Even if we lack children, I’ll still love you” I knew it was not just for the sake of it, he meant it God blessed us with a baby boy, Israel We did not experience such, miscarriages and all that stuff So that is an encouragement to women who maybe are
experiencing same thing right now And maybe they feel like all hope is lost. All hope is not lost God has a purpose and plans. When the time is right, This is a very common phrase used every now and then but true to the word, Getting a child and everything, don’t lose hope God is there and He shall make things beautiful in his time The society would have started talking Especially back in the days. Nowadays I think things are a bit lighter But back in 2013-15 there, It’s as if they were setting a time line for
you. Once you get married, in the next one year, Wait, what’s up? We need to see some fruits You can imagine having a spouse who is not supportive Around 2015, he decided We opened the shop. I think he told you about it. It was in first floor. He forgot to mention that It was next to a toilet. That shop would stink at times, you’d think you are in a toilet Because I used to pass by there from time to time, remember I was still working at Star Optics Just in case because we were weighing options
to see whether this works or not So he established the shop I continued working for 2015, in 2016 that’s when I realized I was pregnant with my first baby The business was not doing bad but still it was not okay cox I remember, There’s a time while I was pregnant, we were walking along Mutindwa and there was a car Approaching, it was raining and they splashed water on us cox we were not that well off we could not have used taxi every now and then. So the business was relatively good I remain at home, in
fact he braced himself We decided I will quit. So I quit my job It was all on him to support us I was to try and see how the home will run fully under my care Now I was like, in three months I’m I supposed…at first, my pregnancy was quite problematic The excuse I gave my boss was that I cannot manage He was like, it’s okay, when you are comfortable you can always come back After the delivery I was like, in three months I leave the baby alone? No Take care of the baby for now
And when the time comes, I’ll support you. As he told you – I had trust in him – You knew your partner well At least I was sure he can’t forsake me just like that. So I had to quit This is when I started venturing into other things, cox I was home raising the kids for all that time – So you raised the first born… – Yes in 2016, but in between, It’s not as easy as they put it. In between I think there’s a time that I was It’s as if my life is not
happening The same same place, I got a chance and went back Again, I got pregnant and I had to quit But I did not last long the second time. So after that I just decided, you know what? Let me just raise the kids and once done, I’ll figure out another thing later on I can’t regret any decision or any minute that I have spent with the babies In fact, recently I was like, now that I can easily move around, And at least they are not in a bad place right now For the period you spent
with your kids, how has it contributed to their foundation? It has helped quite a lot. The reason why I did not pursue any employment You are flexible. Again, he still takes care of us fully We don’t have bill issues, even now that I’m working…he takes care of the home financially and everything, so we are comfortable The ability of being flexible, you can always rush home without anyone asking you I’ve heard so many people talk about it, I think it really makes sense when you dedicate those years for the child For some people their spouses are
like, you know what, you can’t sit around We have to help each other, don’t be a burden to me. We split the bill into two so you have to work So even if you wanted to remain behind, you can’t in such situation. So it depends We have post-perterm stress then you realize you are just home They are always there, that I’ll say for sure They won’t miss at any given point, let no one lie to you It was out of those frustrations. You feel like your life is at a halt, You feel like others are
moving on in life and you are just there maybe they’ve gotten new ranks at their work places and all these things And you are like, if I start seeking employment again, Or going back to job industry, you are starting from scratch Being in one place for quite some time, it’s not easy Even though you will go out once in a while, it’s not like every other normal person That wakes up in the morning to go to work So frustrations are there but now, I’ve told you I come from a family that is dysfunctional kinda I’ve
been having challenges and issues, When you try to get the root cause, it could be the upbringing Because of my absence or things of such nature Even right now as I told you, from time to time I feel like I need to give them more Every human being have their path with it’s own challenges But if they get their own challenges out there not inflicted by me, that will be good I don’t want to feel like those years went to waste. Or even now, it’s not like I’m settled Are you back to your job now?
– Yes. I had mentioned I have a Boutique We have opened a Salon and Barber shop along Katani road, Maki house It’s called Plashy spot – What does Plashy mean? – It means soft, cotton like Where is Gala, will you check in there? She’s for soft life, she just looks like soft life – Welcome all He promised. He told me by the way, just raise the kids Every time I could get frustrated He would tell me to calm down first and wait Right now I can see the fruits He’s not after the money that now
since I earn, I do this or that He’s like that’s your money. He still loves me by the way on top of that I was talking to him that, people tend to forget after getting there, They just part ways. A partner helps you build up and then at someplace You sort of forsake them. And he said, from your end… He gave his reasons already, why have you stuck together still? Things will just move Challenges will always be there Lynn Some people try to portray a very perfect image of marriage, which is not the case Even
if the storms come, I think nothing can shake you. You might be shaken but not broken How do you handle challenges in your marriage? – We handle it as it is – And also the type I will refer back to the childhood and everything My Mum is very calm, and I think I took after her. So even after I got married The first few years were tough Because I’m the kind of people whom if you offend, I’d rather be quiet He was like, let’s talk, you don’t have to hold it back It could get to
a point he would not crack since I kept telling him it’s okay This used to bother him a lot. At least now he tells me We used to talk of lack of communication, right now we should tame it a bit With time, he has helped me a lot in that At least now we can communicate well. We sit down and decide. We agree to disagree It’s not a must we agree on everything. Sometimes we disagree But as long as we value each other’s opinion, I think it’s okay It’s not a bad thing to communicate. Buildup
in a lot of things Is what creates something bad later – Hostility We try as much as possible even if we don’t talk for one, two or three days, We try as much as possible to get over it Or keep revisiting the matter now and then I just hate that: I will leave you at an argument The moment you bring something that has nothing to do with the argument …or they accuse you of wearing red on Valentine’s eve If we are arguing of the flowers position here, let us talk of flowers alone We should not
argue that the flowers are not healthy, I feel it’s like very unfair Bringing in all those things yet we are arguing on one thing As long as you’ve tried to solve things as they come As you continue progressing in marriage, the conflicts get more mature, They are not as frequent as they used to be Expectations are good but have realistic ones Ladies, let your men breath a bit – You feel like we are too much? – We are not too much? – To some extent, Let as address, a man being the head of the house
Even here at your place. Maybe you are the leader of this team “Forget Lynn, everyone on their own” It would be chaotic As we have been instructed in the Bible, he should be the leader Being a leader involves knowing that I’m leading these people, But I do not predict how their life should look like. But I’m offering guidance It does not mean you are a slave It does not mean you remain oppressed When they want to do something with the team players, they air out the plan It doesn’t mean that you are demeaned or something.
Same way to the wife, Don’t just hold things back and maybe you have an idea that could be a life changing thing There he is, or I should call him here? Bonny, welcome – You are here? – Yes, as an old man I’d like to tell you, I think from the time we met, it’s not been all rosy So, he’s had a lot of bringing up to do What did your aunt tell you? – Early marriages… So, you’ve had a lot of bringing up to do There’s not a single moment I recall you throwing your
hands on me Even when things were not as one would expect, I’ve mentioned communication, you’ve taken me through And there’s still more. I’m super grateful When the rest of the people say how you’ve inspired them, Personally as your wife you inspire me too every single day – First of all, do you love me? – I love you very much As I keep on telling you, I’ll love you forever What would you like to tell her? – My dear wife… – Look at me in the face, But when I have someone who connects with me, Someone
who tames me and says, “Switch off the computer and go to sleep” Someone who says to me, tomorrow is another day, you might achieve but it’s not worth it But that pride is what brings them down And not the literal remote control But knowing it’s time to switch off, it’s time to go to bed, Yes we are here, now it’s okay… Lynn I can tell you for sure, as a man sometimes we have pressure Recently she was asking me, “Why do you doubt my Faith?” I told her the reason why is because, mine is more
practical I see it’s impossible but she just says, “You will get it” Deep down even if you see it as an impossibility, always it comes to happen The reason why most people maybe struggle, is because they don’t have backing of their wives So for me, that small believe you have in me, it makes me shine in front of others It makes me strong in front of others, it makes me feel if I’m leading someone in the house And they agree to be led, then I can lead others out there We shall still move forward, anniversaries
after anniversaries Support me and I do the same, we move on. We raise a family, raise a generation, It’s service for others, and also encouraging others to see the positive in marriage Anything else you might add? Having such a platform is not easy I told you I’m a very…Gala I know you. I’m a very big fan of yours But if they were to hear that Lynn is stuck somewhere, they’d rally up to come support you As long us you woke up today, God has a plan. Don’t give up, go try again Imagine one day you
will just hack it. Don’t give up, keep on trying They say a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step Attack it as it comes That’s her Faith, the one you were referring to This coming from a person who came from nowhere Some speak and say, “You are talking like that because right now you have what you have” Like even in his story, he has come from far. Same to me But that will power of knowing, tomorrow is another day, I will fight on Right now it does not mean we’ve conquered, we still have along
way to go But the will power will take us where we want to be so, don’t give up Having hope And knowing that God has risen you up to do His work, But before you give our people some parting shot, she touched on something important I do still struggle with it on show: Leadership and submission I asked her what it looks like, to you, what does leadership look like from a man’s perspective Looking at her, what is submission? The first thing…as I face you madam…is to understand source of everything You can’t tackle something from the
middle. It’s either you just go to the root Identify the origin, where it’s headed and the final destination The roles in marriage, to do with leadership and submission, that’s still God’s involvement God had a plan that, marriage plan should be like this It was designed where man was a leader So when the Bible talks of…I want to preach here now When God says He made a man in His image, this image is leadership It’s not a physical image according to what I believe because God is spirit So it’s the spirit of leadership that he has
put in us If he leads the family, as we said, no country exists without family That’s why the devil attacks families because if he does, divorces happen and hence no country The country will remain weak. But if we go back and know Man’s leadership was handed over by God So men we should emulate God in terms of leadership God leads through mercy, grace and truth There’s a book titled:’ Fifty percent grace, Fifty percent truth; That’s how I perceive leadership life In as much as I want to love you or my family, as a man I
have to exercise authority According to my plan as a leader, no one should come in the house past certain time Because I know, if I don’t put some of this, my wife might be coming home next day Yes. She might be arriving next day and later she goes missing for two days So, if you establish authority, She will come and say, “I won’t be there for two days because of 1,2,3,4” There’s something I’ve been discussing with my wife, it does not mean that because you are a man You are exempt from coming home. That’s being
a bully as she put it earlier God does not bully us around just because He’s a God. There’s that mercy part So, me I usually tell my wife, I’ll be a bit late. Maybe I’m stuck somewhere In short I have delegated my authority back home. If the kids need to be tucked to sleep Or any other stuff that need attention can be handled because I’ll be a bit late And the formula is, man should lead and provide the way Ego is something good but the negative one is accompanied with pride But the ego makes me
even when I’m in front of others I say, I’m called Bonny Maina It adds him more power. In ghetto we call it stamina You just feel confident The part of a woman having someone they can look up to and say, that’s a leader It makes them feel loved, secure and appreciated That bond and combination is godly, going forward you have a formula to move on There’s will, love, There’s humanity in us. I’m a believer in character number one, Character meaning, your first base is character I’m referring to, do you love people? Do you appreciate and
honor people? Who are you when others are not seeing you? Because that already is in you, not to do things that you wouldn’t wish done to you But then she has talked of a plenty of things: communication, Lack of it brings about confusion. People are depressed out there Lynn The reason why we hear stories all over social media is because people are depressed People are not opening up. when you are frustrated, you might end up doing things If you find yourself opening a conversation with this statement, “I’m telling you this…” Just know there’s a problem
in you that needs to be worked on first To an extent you close your eyes and place your finger like this, You’ve forgotten something in that, they shake the head too when making the statement The head part is there too – Just like the Indians do – And then the man roars – That does not come with love Oppression is the next thing to take place. The devil knows that’s the weakest point where he can attack. You might end up being a bully thinking you are a leader You ind yourself saying, “I’ve ordered…” That should
occur where there is familiarity And you do it to stamp authority if they don’t hear you out Have you seen some marriages break and people say, “That man for sure is a no” They see at least the woman had tried on her part You can give ‘My People’ some parting shot as usual, And also I’ve challenged you to open a YouTube channel And you might help us to push on We don’t have a marriage manual, that’s number one Exposure has been different but the biggest thing is the will power That should be in us always
They say that, “The size of the will, is the power to winning any battle” If there is willingness, then we have a chance to pursue whatever we want This thing is God given, He’s the one who planned it all Just say, mine will work Whatever things happen, mine will work Already the spirit helps you win the battle more than 50% This other percentage you will tackle knowing that deep down you are spirited with high spirits By showing them that, our marriage works! This does not involved moving around or doing things, no no no I don’t
have to tell my wife after this that my shoe was unpolished… People are not trying and the negative aspect has gone too far If you have the will power, I’m sure all battles are won through will power We are waiting to go have our short cakes There were times you wake up and wish the night falls you go back to sleep Sometimes we get to such stage in life but now, the kind of will power I have, marriage does not come with a manual Once you decide to be a team player, be a team player
fully I’m giving you this cash. Why are you breathing so heavily? Why laugh instead of crying? Stop giving others conditions Nothing comes easy, even in marriage, it’s not easy All this is vanity by the way Even this show will just be vanity so, put God first Sorry I forgot to point that out in the beginning of the show You gotta watch his first in order to flow, If they will have already created a channel by the time we air this, I’ll also be pinning that
