Resident Evil The Final Chapter Movie Review – Retcons Galore

“I want you to stop me. To stop me…. stop me.. stop me.. Behind you.” Hello, World Wide Web. I’m Decker Shado, the internet personality with the best hair. And welcome to the grand finale of THE SUMMER OF MILLA JOVOVICH! Which brings us to the final resident evil of Paul, W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich. Resident Evil” The Final Chapter. Breaking horror movie conventions, yes, the final chapter is actually the last movie in the series, being consistent with the Resident Evil series however, it just about completely ignores the sequel bait of the last film and just does

its own completely unrelated story anyway. Oh great, The one time I don’t get angry at the series for ending on sequel bait. I regret it anyway. So if this is not the epic final war against the Evil Red Queen to stop them once and for all. Then what is it even about? Well, the world has been destroyed. Alice is one of the only survivors, and everything’s gone back to the kind of Mad Max style we got in Resident Evil Extinction. But we have all those loose ends to tie up. No, not those you’ve noticed watching

the last five movies. We ignore those and have entirely new loose ends to tie up. On the plus side, if all goes well, Alice can stop the T

virus once and for all and save the world. But whether or not she does, we could all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that one way or another, this soon will all be over. So let’s take a look at Resident Evil, The final chapter, and stick a fork in it. We open up with Retconning. Remember how Dr. Ashford created the T virus to treat his daughter Angie due

to her degenerative disease that would leave her wheelchair bound like him? Well, fuck that noise. The T virus was actually created by Dr. Marcus to treat his daughter Alicia, due to her degenerative disease that would cause rapid aging. Unlike him. “And even as he worked desperately to create a cure, The young girl’s father would record his daughter. Her voice, her likeness.” Jesus Christ, the man’s daughter is dying in record time. He’s like, Hold on, honey. Pose for Daddy’s Apple vision. I need a spatial memory of this moment. Anyhoo, James Marcus. Played by Mark Simpson invents

the T virus, which is a breakthrough of medical miracle cure alls. It cures everything but nearsightedness and cavities. But it also kind of turns people into zombies. And that’s something that James simply cannot abide. “I don’t care how much it costs. We have to close the program down.” And it is of note that James is actually a character from the games he was introduced in Resident Evil Zero and he did in fact have a role in creating the T virus. And as you might have figured out, he was also not a good guy And now

he’s a dead guy. As Doctor Isaacs has Albert Wesker go manhunt on the motherfucker. But what to do with little Alicia? “Dr. Isaacs became the guardian of his dead partner’s child.” He just keeps her. He may be a megalomaniacal madman, but he’s not about to kill a kid on screen. “Isaacs used the likeness of Alicia Marcus for the computer’s interface. Isaacs called the computer The Red Queen.” So Isaacs is now the one who made the Red Queen, relegating Dr. Ashford to just some random, unimportant guy who happened to work at Umbrella. I guess it’s also

really lucky that Marcus got all those Photogrammetry scans of her in ahead of time because, well, I mean, I guess Isaacs could have just done that just as easily. After that, the movie does the usual catching up, but with more retconning. “The American government attempted to contain the outbreak by detonating a bomb.” It wasn’t umbrella that sent the nuke. And then did the cover up. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was the American government that sent the nuke because everyone actually already knew about the zombies, and then they just ran with the cover up

story anyway, just for funsies. And it didn’t do squat because by the time the cover story was being spread, the virus had already spread even faster, destroying the world, drying up the rivers and oceans and killing near everyone. Then a bunch of unimportant stuff happened. There was a last stand in Washington DC at the end of the last movie. “But we didn’t realize that what we had walked into was a trap.” But what’s this? It turns out Albert Wesker was a double crossing, backstabbing bitch who betrayed Alice. “I guess some people never change. Or, they

quickly change and then quickly change back.” In case you want to know exactly what happened… Well, too bad we’re already past that part. No idea what happened to Ada, Leon or Alice’s clone deaf clone daughter. All we really get closure on is that when Albert Wesker gave her back her superpowers, he actually was like psyche! He injected her with with nothing. I guess she just didn’t get anything out of that. And he was trying to kill her but didn’t. Even though he easily could have at that point. But. Well, I guess it’s not the worst

thing. I mean, we never really got any kind of closure on whatever happened to K-mart. I’m really bent out of shape on that one. I never got to tell her that she’s also really lucky they didn’t find her at a BJ’s. Anyway, Alice is still milling about, doing that whole survival thing, despite her best efforts. Spotting the still water by the Washington Monument. She’s like, Hey, that looks tasty, but it’s actually zombie soup. So she gets away from there, continuing to mill about until she is attacked by a motherfucking jabberwocky. Big and scary, but not

so smart as she defeats it, mostly by making it run into things. Once the opening action sequence is out of the way, we can get something actually plot relevant happening. When she examines location number three and a printer suddenly begins printing, Jesus. It’s not the Apocalypse. And I can never get those things to accept that the ink isn’t dry. Sending a message to her from the Red Queen. She’s like, Alice, how you been? Listen, there’s less than 5000 people left on Earth, and they got about 48 hours to live. So you better stop me before

I kill them. Here’s how, you’ve got to use the antivirus. “Where is this antivirus?” “Beneath the streets of Raccoon City. In the hive.” Oh, that one? That the anti-virus that we saw in the first movie and knew were there and were just pretending didn’t exist for the entire rest of the series. Talking about Alice’s blood is the key. Or we need to synthesis as a new cure. We’ve had a cure underground. In the first location, this entire time. Motherfucker. “My programing will not allow me to harm the Umbrella corporation. But you are bound by no

such constraints.” Excuse me. Uh, while we’re talking about the first movie, we can mention the fact that you killed everyone at the Hive. All of them employees of Umbrella. You slaughtered them all. That was you. “I have no reason to believe a word you say.” “True. But I can offer you something you want very much.” Lady Dimitrescu? The red queen’s like, when you come down here, you can kill Wesker. “He pretended to give you your palace back, and then he betrayed you.” So what the fuck did he inject her with? A placebo? Powerade? Point is,

the movie’s got a plot, so Alice begins moving to the hive. But hits a spike strip, so her car’s roof is smashed. Eh, no bother. Looky here! There just so happens to be a handy dandy motorcycle just waiting for her because it is bait. She is ambushed by umbrella goons and caught in a trap suspended in midair. No bother. Her Jovovich powers kick in and she kicks all the asses unarmed and upside down, easily getting to the bike. But the GM only planned the story ahead for WHEN she gets captured. Not IF, so we got

traps on top of traps here. Waking up, Alice finds herself tied up with a bunch of poor souls, all scared and silent. Her yelling gets the attention of none other than Dr. Isaacs. “I killed you.” “Yet here I am.” “A clone. I killed your clone.” Oh, that’s your answer to every plot hole. Alice is like, Hey, why don’t you just stop the apocalypse? And Isaacs is like, Someone must have said something, but who? Best way to find out is to tie Alice to the back of the vehicle and have her run from the zombies until

she is ready to talk. But why is he doing all of this? “The Lord created a flood to cleanse the Earth. 40 days and 40 nights of rain. Our method has taken a little longer, but the result will be the same.” Because he is Christian. That never seemed to come up before, but hey, we have a movie where Christians are evil genocidal maniacs. Again. He’s cleansing the Earth, but Alice has delayed their plans for too long, so he’s just going to leave her there and assume this all goes to plan. However, while she lacks her

super powers, she still has her Jovovich powers! Beating the crap out of the guards and luring Isaacs back out, forcing him to undo her cuffs and even give her back that motorcycle, which does still require handprint identification. “You can’t escape!” “GUUURHAAAAGHAAAAAHHHH!” Just be glad it doesn’t rely on facial recognition. So she escapes, heading straight to the ruins of Raccoon City, which is where Isaacs was going anyway, but whatevs. This is where the crater that used to be downtown is, and underneath it, the hive. But first there is some weird, shiny thing up there. *WHACK* So

she just gets knocked out again. She’s making way too good time in those 48 hours. So I’m going to run down the clock a bit if we want this to be exciting. Waking up, Alice finds herself Grappling against Doc, played by Eoin Macken amidst a brand spanking new group of survivors for this movie. Spare one returning face, Ali Larter as Claire Redfield. So she’s got someone to vouch for her and no one questions her warnings about the incoming zombie army led by the back from the dead doctor Isaacs. Except, of course, for William Levy. “She’s

a stranger! We shouldn’t trust her. Listen to me.” “Hey, hey! Chris!” “DON’T YOU TOUCH ME, DOC!” Who plays the role of…. Christian. bit on the nose, don’t you think? Christian is full on Walking Dead style out here with his scrap sword and dual AF-2011 A1s. He feels he should be in charge, but Doc gets him to simmer down. Anyway, we’re already down to 12 hours so Alice has no time to waste. Therefore they decide to waste the entire day not walking two blocks to get to the hive before Doctor Isaacs even gets there. But instead

deck the survivors outpost out in all kinds of zombie apocalypse defensive weaponry. “What are we going to do?” “We’re going to kill every last one of them.” Really? Alice That’ll take a while and check your watch. We’ve only got like four or 5 hours until WE KILL THEM ALL! And then we shall hold a grand feast that will last for several days! So they launch flaming barrels at the armored cars. But what’s this? Isaacs releases the zombie bait from her binds. And our heroes cannot just leave them to such a fate. Lowering the gate to

give her a means to survive. “Fire!” “Damn you.” But Isaacs just kills her anyway. But not Claire or Doc, who were just five feet in front of her at the time. No, no, no, no. He’s not trying to win. Just keep it exciting. So they close the gate to stop the zombie horde, Which doesn’t even matter when the bad guys fire a rocket at the gate, blowing it open. But having zombies pour in just means Alice can order the survivors to pour that giant stockpile of gasoline that post-apocalyptic survivors always have kicking around and ignite

it. Burning them alive or unalive, whatever. Point is, they kill every last one of them and all that remains is Isaac’s little armored car “Close the vents, now!” Ooh. Hope his AC is still working. Guess so, because Commander Chu is still alive, played by Lee Joon-Gi, moving like Jet Li from The One he beats the crap out of Alice, moving like lightning. “You’re fast. But you’re not too smart.” So she just shoots his ass point blank range with a triple barrel shotgun. Elegant, painful, and leaves nothing behind but the fresh scent of Brut. As such

this lovely smelling brute survived that just fine. So Alice decides, Hey, now he can be the bait and we can use the last car to lure the zombie hordes away from Raccoon City. You know, the ones we waited a few hours to arrive. Anyway, there is more coming and they only got 3 hours left so they must go there at once. But now that they are clearly making their way through the crater to be exposed entry to the Hive, Wesker orders them to release the hounds and the zombie dogs are back, picking off stragglers, thinning

the herd before they make it to the hive. But then they stop, for they fear what lies within. “Seal the Hive.” Hey, wait a minute. Your whole plan was to keep them from coming down here. And this whole time you just left the door wide open. You could have closed it days ago and then just sat out here waiting out the 48 hours like nothing. But because he waited until they were already at the main gate and the fact that said gate closes at a snail’s pace, that means they have no problem getting inside anyway.

Except that Christian got bitten And now the zombie virus kicks in after, like 40 seconds, mildly inconveniencing Alice. Once inside, the group finds The Red Queen, she explains why she’s gone rogue. You see, After the outbreak, she got sent this video. “Dated 17 months before the viral outbreak occurred.” My fellow Umbrellakins, I have gathered you all here today to remind you to like this video and subscribe for more reviews like this or else. Or rather, another video that completely retcons the cause of the outbreak. Again, you see, Doctor Isaacs spent way too much time on

Reddit and was black pilled up the wazoo, completely nihilistic about the fate of the world because climate change. So he hatched a plan: KILL EVERYONE. “But leave its infrastructure and resources intact. It’s been done once before with great success.” Did you happen to miss the part of the story where God was like, Well, I’m never doing that again. Also, in case you missed it, in the third movie, they did establish the T virus absolutely devastated earth’s natural resources. So good luck. But he’s not going to kill EVERYONE everyone. No, no. The elites will wait out

the apocalypse, then start over without those pesky unwashed masses gobbling up those finite resources. “I give to you the T virus.” “They released it deliberately.” Which just makes the entire plot of the whole series just absolutely bonkers. Like the first movie, Accidental Outbreak? Oh, no, no. It was purely intentional. The second movie, trying to contain it. No, no, They want it to spread. Third movie, We got to synthesize a cure. Why? They didn’t want to cure it. And they didn’t need one. They already had it. And the fourth movie messing with survivors, what for? The

virus was doing its thing. Why were they capturing people to do stuff to them? Fifth movie you had the evil Red Queen and Good Wesker and that just has nothing to… wait. Wesker, Isaacs, wasn’t Wesker Isaacs’ boss in the third movie because now it’s the other way around. But here’s the read Queen’s Dilemma. “I was created to serve the Umbrella Corporation, but I was also programed to value human life.” Well, looks to me like someone fucked up programing your prime directive. This is like trying to get chatGPT to give an unbiased response to a question

that’s even slightly political. But because she can’t harm employees of umbrella, As long as you ignore all those employees of umbrella she killed, she needs Alice to be her loophole. Also, she took her sweet time, got like 37 minutes to save the world and 45 minutes of movie left. So chop chop. Also, one more thing. “Umbrella had an informant in Racoon City. It is highly likely that this person is now here with you.” Okay, So one amongst them is a traitor who will betray Alice towards the end. It’s easy to figure this one out once

they go through their trials and the monsters pick them off one by one. By the end, it’s going to be Alice and two others, and one of them will be the traitor, and the other one will be Claire Redfield. But as they descend into the hive back in Raccoon City, the car luring the zombies away finds Doctor Isaacs stopping somehow the zombies don’t swarm but wait five feet back from the bait patiently for him to get on and continue towards the hive. Within the hive, though, they find a giant fan, but the power fluctuates in

and out, you know what that means. They all manage to get through. But the fan sucks so bad not all of them make it! As such, we can all rest assured that Abigail, played by Ruby Rose, was not the traitor. Next up, we’ve got the vents. Once the power kicks back on suddenly trapdoors open up sending thin man played by Milton Shorr into another trap from which he falls to his death. So tag him as a good guy. The trap door Alice falls through, though, leads to a completely different, far less lethal destination, at least

not as directly lethal as a CGI monster attacks! And the action editing in this movie is somehow by far the worst in the entire series. I swear, sometimes we get like one frame between cuts and we get plenty of time to appreciate it as this thing is very hard to kill. much like Doc over here, despite all the trials and tribulations, he’s still alive. So Alice has a friend to help her along. Reaching the Red Queen’s chambers, Alice finds that while the laser hallway is absolutely coated in muck, someone must have come by recently and

dropped a fresh bag of guns on the other room. That looks just like the bag of guns left in the first movie. Not only that, but it’s loaded with explosives. And they just so happen to have located the thousands of umbrella elites who are waiting out the apocalypse in cryostasis. “What are you doing?” “Give me a hand.” So run down the clock, pulling it real close here. And we just got to get that antivirus to the surface to try and save as many of the few remnants of humans left. But we have found a good

amount of perfectly healthy humans in cryostasis just waiting to survive the apocalypse. But they’re rich and some of them might have planned this. So I guess fuck em? Like maybe wait until after you’re sure you’ve saved anybody at all before you blow up the only left reliable source of the human race. But there are a few others frozen elsewhere, and Wesker personally sets to thawing out Dr. Isaacs! That’s right. This is the real Dr. Isaacs. The other one is the clone, and I totally give a shit at this point. But Claire Redfield is also still

alive. They just took this long to mention how long she took to get out of her little trap. So while she pushes onward, we see that Alice and Doc have made it to Dr. Isaacs’ lair. He’s even got the handy dandy antidote. But it won’t work unless they release it topside, because airborne and nothing airborne could possibly escape the hive. Right? Also, it’s the only one. Because, of course it is. Thus he forces Alice to disarm herself. “You’re still armed.” “Yes. I am.” But it turns out Doc was the traitor all along. Obviously. I mean,

the movie didn’t drop any hints like that, but like I said, him and Claire Redfield are the ones still alive. So obviously Doc’s the traitor. Or I guess logically, one of the others that died earlier could have been the traitor. But if the movie was going to do that, they wouldn’t have even bothered mentioning that there was a traitor. And Claire is still alive, as is Albert Wesker. So, yeah, bad guys are doing fantastic at the moment. But lest we forget, Alice has those handy dandy Jovovich powers. However, Dr. Isaacs wasn’t just frozen, he was

upgraded with the paper to her rock and knows how to counter every possible scenario she could come up with. So they have to just chat. Which Dr. Isaacs is he anyway? “The original.” “The one I met out there, he thought exactly the same thing.” “Well of course he did. That’s how they’re designed.” It’s totally not that the previous movies were actually just scripted that when we’re making shit up as we go along, no. “After all, who wants to know they’re just a poor imitation of a worthless copy. Which brings us to you.” But what’s this?

It turns out Alice has been a clone this entire time. She doesn’t have any memory from before the mansion because she had no life before the mansion. Do you have any idea what this means? It means no, they never did get around to coming up with any explanation for that scar she has on her shoulder. But a clone of who? Why of the totally not just brought up character. Alicia Marcus, played by Milla Jovovich. “Marcus created the T virus to save her but the effects didn’t last.” Hold on. That audio sounded kind of roughly spliced

together. “Marcus created-The T virus to save her” Y’all were still working on the script in the middle of filming weren’t you? Her youthful visage merely lives on in the Red Queen, played by Ever Anderson, Milla Jovovich’s daughter! Wondering how Alice hasn’t aged super fast though? Well, they fixed that, but only in her. But Alicia is also on that fuck the umbrella corporation train as she was the one who secretly sent that video to the Red Queen. And she owns half of umbrella, which is why Isaacs hasn’t been able to oust her. And while he murdered

the fuck out of her father, he never got the idea to maybe just kill her, shoot her, kick her down a flight of stairs. But she has her own Jovovich powers! “Albert Wesker. You’re fired.” Removing his employment and his protections from the Red Queen’s wrath, which also means that ten years into the apocalypse, that man must have still been getting paychecks. And wouldn’t you know it? Alice already pegged Doc as a traitor and secretly emptied the magazines somehow without him noticing. So she kicks his ass. “How did you know it was me?” “You’re still alive.”

So part of your Jovovich powers is knowing that you’re in a movie on top of it? Also, just so you know, Claire and Doc had a thing or something. Point is she kills him and Alice gives the Wesker the old Myles Dyson treatment, handing him the detonator that he must keep held down to prevent the umbrella execs from blowing up. Now she’s, just got to get the antivirus, release it and kill everything out there that has the T virus. “You know what that means, don’t you? For you.” “I know.” Okay, so she does still have

the T virus? Because she she hasn’t been doing the superpowers thing the whole movie. And yes, she will die as well. But Alice is like, well, got to do what I got to do. And on that note the red queen knows what she has to do as well. “You and the Umbrella High Command.” “Yes?” “You are all going to die down here.” Say the line again, which has really just drained it of all meaning. Now, when I watch the first Resident Evil movie and the Red Queen’s there like, You’re all going to die down here.

I can just imagine everyone else is looking at Alice like, don’t don’t pay any attention to it. She just says that. So Alice and Claire ambush Isaacs. But Doctor Isaacs is powered by something and can easily best of the both of them. This eventually spills into the laser hallway. Have no fear. Alice can do all kinds of acrobatics to deftly dodge the death beams. That, and Dr. Isaacs never thought to use the grid of unavoidable dicing for some reason, but he can still beat the crap out of her, smashing her through the walls and completely

overpower the woman. But what’s this? During their scuffle, she pulled out an old Bethedsa trick and dropped the bomb in his pocket. Alice, didn’t he also have the antidote in his pocket? Oh, it was in his other pocket. That was probably far enough away from the blast. So she takes the express elevator to the surface. and with but seconds remaining, Dr. Isaacs recovered from his explosion wound called the elevator back down, took the elevator back up and got there fast enough to catch the antidote that she was throwing to the ground before she could put

it down. And also just saying, as she checked, that was less than a minute left. And when the Red Queen was first talking to her about this, she told her she had less than 48 hours and then a couple of minutes later put 48 hours on her clock. So chances are she’s already too late anyway. But what’s this? Dr. Isaacs has also arrived. But when Dr. Isaacs tells Dr. Isaacs that Dr. Isaacs is a clone, Dr. Isaacs refuses to believe it and kills Dr. Isaacs. And then Dr. Isaacs dies anyway. All the umbrella personnel blow

up, So let’s try that again. Alice grabs the antidote and tosses it down, shattering it. 2 minutes after we saw she had one minute left, but eh? All the zombies instantly collapse, even deader than before. But hold on. Alice is not dead. Despite all the information to the contrary. “You lied to me.” “We had to know if you were willing to make the sacrifice, to give up your life for others. This was something no one at Umbrella would have done.” Yeah, we could have just let you save all of humanity. But unless you were willing

to sacrifice yourself to do it, is it really worth it? Our super smart A.I. that values human life, everybody. So Alice lives, Claire lives, and Alicia even copied her childhood memory so that Alice can be the whole person She always wanted. But would you look at that? The airborne antivirus It’s taking a while to actually spread and eliminate the T virus. “Until then. My work is not done.” Are you serious? After all of that, after going through the trouble of calling this movie the final chapter and it actually being the last movie in the series,

you still end on sequel bait?! anyway. Anyway, that was Resident Evil, The final chapter. Thank God it’s over. A quick explanation to the sequel bait. Supposedly this movie was going to set up a resident evil TV series ala Tremors 3, but in classic Resident Evil fashion, when a TV series did finally come it completely ignored the sequel bait and just created an entirely different story anyway. And on that note, the final chapter was an entirely different fucking story. That’s a hell of an idea. Let’s tie up all the loose ends from a story other than

the one we’ve been making over the past five entries. That has quite a lot of unanswered questions in it. Not only that, the sheer amount of retconning on display here does the thing that I hate where sequels seem to punish the viewer if they’ve actually bothered to pay attention, which means what we’re left with is was this a fun enough movie in its own right? And to that end, Eh? It’s got some nice post-apocalyptic stuff going on similar to the third movie, but the siege at the base of the survivors eking out an existence within

the site of a nuclear explosion flies in the face of the main plot thread that, Hey, you got a very short amount of time to save the entire human race. So hunkering down to defend an outpost you don’t need. And who will die anyway if you fail against an attacker who is after you and not them? Yeah, it makes no sense whatsoever. So instead of tying up loose ends or giving us a compelling story, the final chapter does what it has to do in order to set up badass fights and explosive action sequences. Unfortunately, though,

even then it’s hit and miss as the creature designs and battles can be pretty awesome, but it’s held back by the astonishingly quick cuts of the quick cut editing. I thought the second movie was bad here but wow. At the end of the day, Resident Evil, the final chapter really has no reason to exist. It caps off a story that wasn’t told with a focus on incredibly unfocused action. it’ll keep you distracted enough if you’re already deep in the series. And just got to check this off the bucket list. But outside of that, it’s not

a great one to recommend coming in at two barrels of surplus gasoline out of five. Yeah, two. It was terrible, but it was that terrible that I kind of like. Thank you all for watching. I have been Decker Shado. And remember, seal off your base that you’re trying to keep secure. Don’t dilly dally, wasting time protecting a little pocket of the human race that’s going to die anyway if you take too long, don’t blow up thousands of viable human people if they’re just from the wrong income bracket and do not do not do not end

the final chapter of your story with sequel bait! “I should have killed you in Washington.” “Yeah.” Summer of Milla Jovovich. That’s that. You check out another summer special I did. Or maybe that that might actually help with the algorithm. I don’t know. I’ve got a theory going on. Who are the algorithmically selected recommended video? My theory says that actually won’t help with the algorithm. So or subscribe. It’s up to you. You’re free now.

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